Letters to my future self

20050130

Letters to my future self

30th jan - 9th place

bah, its happened again. i failed to make top 8 for the 2nd time. quite disappointing, i mean if my tie breakers are slightly better, i would be confident that i can be placed at least within the top 4.

having a bad pile of cards isnt a gd excuse, cos i know that the pile isnt awful, its actually playable. i jus probably didnt try hard enuff. if only there had been 1 7-0 and not all 6-1's then i might have been able to sneak in. sigh.

lessons learnt: 2-2 aft round 4 signals a drop to play constructed. i choose to ignore this and remain confident of myself that last 2 occasions this happened, both times i failed to make top 8, doing 10th and 9th respectively

now i'll have to wait til next month, dont even know if the format's changed then, cos a new set might be out. bleh.

then again, we had a huge turnout today, for sealed we had 28 ppl and constructed had a whooping 56 ppl, double of the number of ppl who signed up for sealed. and to think this 56 ppl didnt include wei tian and his bunch, which might have made the number much closer to 60.

pcq's arent so easy to play anymore.

aft i crashed out, i left suntec, hung at meridian for a while then went over to plaza sing to shop for clothes. its only then i realised that i'm actually quite inexperianced at buying clothes, i really suck at it. i mean most of the time either my mum buys my clothes or she'll have to drag me along to buy clothes. these time round she jus gave me money and asked me to buy for myself.

i totally couldnt tell apart the differences btw clothes for female or male (yes yes, all of u can laugh right now). i could only make guesses and hopefully aft i leave the shop, none of the shop assistants will be rolling on the floor laughing. bought a pair of jeans and cargo pants for 71.50. that leaves 3 more tops and 1 bottom to go. if i'm adventurous enuff, i might go over to far east tomorrow and walk around.

for now,
-out-

Letters to my future self

jan 29th - trip down to china town

jus got back from china town, the night market to be exact. not that i would want to go there anyway, i really dont like crowded places alot. went down with lun and kun, who wans to walk around the area for some material for an article he's supposed to cover for CNY (he's an intern at TNP)

the place was freaking crowded, even thou its still more then a week away from the actual day itself. we got the see the silly rotating statue of the rooster nesting eggs and stuff and at one of the shopping centres we went to, i managed to grab a couple of china import CDs at pretty cheap prices - sun yanzi's stepanie and SHE's encore (less den $18 for both of them!)

aft going thru the shopping centres, we headed over for the night market area. that place is a nightmare, the human traffic is unbelievable. aft wading thru the crowd for a while, we made a short pit stop at a restaurant along the street. the food was pretty gd, made better by the fact that we didnt have to pay for them. ;p

aft the pit stop, we hopped back and joined the human traffic again. *sigh*
it reminds me of a couple of yrs ago during chinese new yr when my uncle was running a stall at the night market and we went over the help him the few days b4 new yr until CNY eve. it was a great experiance and quite fun too, however, i had a sore throat from all the shouting during the few days *heh*

today aftn was spent at meridian, where i got dragged into a DC:superman draft, which imo is my best format to date. i had a pretty awful deck having only 6 relevant plot twists and end up having to play 1 feeding time (which coincidentally won me the game against ryan) almost everyone got caught by my infamous revenge squad silver banshee lock. i ended up winning the 4 men pod, based only on the 2 part combo. oh well.... if i stick to this strategy tmr, i think i have a gd chance at finishing in money.

hmm... today happens to be rui en's 24th birthday. happy birthday! *claps*
too bad her birthday celebration with her fans is postponed like indefinately due to her commitments at work. oh well.... speaking of which kun got to interview her the other day at the press release for her upcoming show, when i chked out pang's blog, i realised that he went for the same press release too....

bah, all these lucky ppl. ><"
oh well, to bed, wish me luck for tomorrow

20050126

Letters to my future self

26th jan - words of war

i swear the heat these days tend to wear ppl out and makes them more hot tempered.
jus today alone i've had seen multiple instances of family or work dispute.

one of the worst happened at my workplace, btw one of my co workers and a superior.
sometimes, superiors shdnt assume that if their subordinates keep quiet, means they are ok with what they do. prolonged instances of pent-up fustration can lead to massive outbursts.

a quick run thru my purchases this month revealed that i've spent abit too much on comics this month.

-marvel 1602 hardcover tpb
-the sandman tpb 1-5
-teen titans tpb 1-2
-one piece manga 27, 29, 30, 31

thats abt $200, which was also the remains of my prize month from last month's pcq and the trip from KL.

brr, thats it, no more comics until next payday.

took leave for the next 2 duties, so that i can make myself avail for the pcq on sunday and also shop for some new clothes for new year. which means that i'll be off for the next 6 days, woot.

b4 i sign off, heres the blog of kun, a gd fren of mine currently doing an internship with TNP

alright, cya guys
-out-

20050125

Letters to my future self

24th jan - the heartless

of late, i seemed to have lost the gift of sympathy and empathy. like the other day, this guy got hit on the head with a beer bottle (note to self: beer bottles and heads dont match). there was alot of blood. strange thing was that he was standing outside the NPP, next to his fren and a police officer and no one seems to be helping him staunch the bleeding. blood jus kept dripping from his head and onto the floor. heck, he wasnt even offered a seat.

well, while he was being bandaged up, the only thing that came to my mind was how bad the would was, but rather the big mess that will appear aft the whole episode is over. a rather big mess that i'll have to clean up.

this job kills one's ability to feel for others. we have to treat everyone as equals. emotions cannot affect our judgement. i'm not sure if i feel i'm a better person.

anyway my habit of whining is up and running again. need to keep it in check. i blame adran and his kuku pile of cards for bringing the demon out again. heh, to think he runs demon in his pile. irony.

gaming news-

-vs's up as usual, pcq's this weekend.
-ebaying will cool off for a while, acquired most of the stuff that i need to finish up my playsets already
-kingdom hearts: chain of memories is currently running on a emulator on my pc, great stuff. den again kingdom hearts on ps2 was great too. those who found the game enjoyable on the ps2 should like this too.

tsk, its 1am, i have to work tomorrow and i'm still in front of my comp...
i'm so screwed.... ack
-out-

20050122

Letters to my future self

22nd jan - The Organisation

one would think that 4.5 yrs is alot of experiance. apparently it doesnt apply to everyone.
no prizes for guessing who i was working with last night.

there were serveral accts where i would have done things differently if i was in his shoes. but last night i had to obey to his commands, aft all, he is the leader. irregardless of how sloppy or ridiculous his decisions are, i could only listen, and not say no.

darn.

i've decided. from today onwards, the four letter 'word' shall be known as "The Organisation"
no names mentioned, no harm done

-out-

20050121

Letters to my future self

21st jan - late nite supper

last night was a blast, the usual 4 of us were chatting on msn when weilun suddenly had this craving for prata, it was at abt 1am then. we decided to take a cab down to somewhere in serangoon for a gathering over supper. however, it took us close to 1 hr to bug mel to join us.
eventually we got him down, and hearty meal of prata. the atmosphere was great, we tokked abt everything under the sky, secondary skool days, life in camp, and had a great laugh.

popped over to kun's place aft the meal and played some boardgames/card games til abt 6 when we all left for out own homes. its been quite awhile since i skipped sleeping but a even newer experiance for the supper, since i've nv really went out for late night supper before.

got a haircut jus a couple of days ago and got even mroe comics. i really should stop browsing for comics, its not very healthy for the pockets. if i ever bump into financial problems this month, its all becos of overspending on comics.

'The Organisation' jus issued us a handphone (nokia 3120), i cant remember wad the plan consists of, but all i can remember is that they subsidise 8.50 of the subscription every month i think. its a compulsory thingy. i wont have wanted the phone if i could. its likely that within the next few days i'll be changing my number and passing my current phone to my mom. if i do, i'll probably notify everyone of my number change.

on the buylists recently -

mp3 player. was going to buy one, then my old hard disks crashed. my library of several hundred songs has been reduced to jus 30 over songs. ipod is out of my league. creative makes ugly mp3 players. as it seems now, i might wan to get a ipod shuffle... hmm... 99usd. backward step in technology, big step forward towards creativity.

digi cam. been harping since last yr that i wanted to get a digi cam. however most of the models i fancy are abit expensive, and i nv seem to be able to save up enough money to buy any of them.

cd-rom drive. ok, actually i dont need to buy this, but i better get it changed soon. its been barely 2 months since i bought it and its not in proper working order right now, i'm quite pissed.

oh well, off to pack for work.
sigh, working on a public holiday again, this is like my 3rd "working-on-a-public-holiday" day in a row, how irritating.

-out-

20050118

Letters to my future self

17th jan - more stories from work

bumped into my OC today. he asked me on the staus of my blog. to which i replied that i've cleared my posts away. he said it was a gd thing, cos i could potentially be charged to DB.

i asked him y and stated that i did nothing wrong. then his face changed color.
he paused for a while before saying "there are alot of directives and SOPs and if they really wan to find fault with u...."

*end of conversation*

if theres anything i'm sorry abt, it would be the inconvinences i've caused to ppl around me. definately not sorry abt wad i wrote. wad i wrote is exactly i've been experiancing and there is nothing fictious abt it.

anyways, my allowance issue will be fixed next month. they 'accidently' forgot to credit my allowance back into my pay aft i passed my aact and my ippt. i brought it up to one of my RC's at station and she rang up the appropriate departments and had it done for me.

in the aftn, we has an organizational health survey. we were told before hand that this is not an opportunity to complain. how fair exactly is a trial, when all the witnesses are silenced?
i'm lucky i dont have to be part of the survey, they only needed 10 NSFs for the survey and i was not 1 of the 10. which is a gd thing, i dont wan to say anything that i dont wan to say in the survey.

oh well, its 1 more work day and then off again....
-out-

20050117

Letters to my future self

16th jan - irony

sorry for the lack for updates, life has reached a stalemate, nothing much exciting recently.

abt 1 hr ago however, i had to make a call to the organization that i'm serving currently. yes, the same organization that i'm always cursing and swearing at. apparently my grandma fell in her apartment and theres a bump on her head, she also lost a few of her teeth and bled quite abit.
such is fate. requiring help from ppl when least expected.

new oc will be at station tml, hopefully there wont be too many radical changes to the current situation.

during the past few off days i havent been doing much either, going down to meridian and mucking around with the gang as usual. i did pick up some comics and a new boardgame this week thou.

the irony of it, is that i bought the boardgame at PI and the comics from kino, despite hanging out at comicsmart almost all my off days. lol

boardgame - betrayal at house on the hill
comics - sandman 1-3, marvel 1602, one piece 27, 30, 31

yes, finally picked up sandman. it jus happened that i bumped into sam the other day in the evening. he was having a night's out and was walking around in town. i accompanied him to hmv, then to kino where i picked up some missing titles for one piece (i have this damn awful habit for this series, i keep missing issues when i buy them, like for example, i'll buy 25, 26 this time round, and the next time, i totally forget abt it and buy 28, 29. brr. speaking of which, i'm missing issue 29 again, despite having bought 30 and 31. ARGH). in a random conversation he told me he bought 1602, something which i wanted to get sometime back and aft realisig that they have it here, i picked it up too. then i saw sandman and i was like... heck, y not. besides sam had a 10% discount card, so... might as well ;p

oh well, thats abt all
time for bed
-out-

20050110

Letters to my future self

10 jan - 1 more, 1 less....

hit another bad patch today, thou it had nothing to do with wadever's been happening in the past few days.

whole day's marred by drunkards, a close brush with injury/death and a really nasty comment.

i would go more into detail except "big brother's" watching.

all i wan to say is that nasty comment, it goes along the lines of "u're jus a NSF, ur life is not impt, 1 more, 1 less, no difference"

i'm under alot of stress, really.
*sigh*

-out-

20050109

Letters to my future self

8th jan - tsunami strike

"....i left my diary on the table, you found it and read it. that is fine by me, really. until you demanded that i tear my entries off..... "

by now most of should have already noticed that a 'tsunami' jus 'swept' across my blog, taking with it most of my posts from 2003 and 2004 (complete removal will be complete tomorrow). leaving behind only hatred, grief and bitterness.

anyone who wans to send me any form of finanical aid, pls feel free to do so.

if only i wasnt an NSF, maybe i wont be subject to all these nonsense.

probably no thanks to the bad publicity, my blog had a highest hit ever of 27 visitors yesterday. to think my daily average used to be like 4. and all 4 are likely to be my own friends anyway.
why did this have to happen, i still dont understand. all i ever wanted was a place to voice out my pains of growing up, write my life story. tell me i'm wrong, jus becos i'm a straightforward person.

anyway i'm completely removing all my old posts, i'm not taking any chances.

still....

"you may tell me what to do, but you'll never be able to control the way i think"

somehow, something in me tells me, work back at station will nv quite be the same again....
-out-

20050107

Letters to my future self

7th jan - a disaster waiting to happen

oh well, i knew someday this would happen. i wasnt hoping it didnt but it finally did.

i jus recieved feedback from my OC that some content in my blog is considered undesirable and i should be removing them.

it started this morning when our OC msged all the paramedics saying that a medic in our station has been making nasty comments abt the station and some paramedics and our medical department was looking in the matter.

i was hoping that 1 person wont be me. i mean aft all that i've written is exactly wad i feel at that moment, i have nothing personal against the force, or the station. and saying that, the last time i bitched abt the station was quite a while back, i mean i promised to stop bitching abt work, i was letting work affect my personal life.

nv did i expect the nice ppl from medical department to dig into my archives. maybe search engines nowadays are too efficient.

anyway as i was told, my OC has been sent some 20 page printout, mostly my blog contents from may, when i really hit a bad patch at work, getting exiled to do office work.
i've been "advised" to removed the affected posts.

i am upset. so much for free speech, freedom of press. ideals that will nv see reality.

and btw, thanks to all those ppl who made this day so 'wonderful' for me, i really 'appreciated' it
-out-

20050106

Letters to my future self

6 jan - all is quiet

yea, jus in case anyone thought i've gone missing or anything, nope i'm still pretty much alive and kicking. its jus that nothing's really happening to me at this pt of my life.

off days are spent at meridian, where i endlessly train for future events and slack the day out. work days are well, spent doing work or sleeping til the shift's over.

pt of note thou, i keep getting called "bitter old man" these days, i really wonder why... hmm...

alright, to work
-out-

20050103

Letters to my future self

2 jan - bizzare day at work

2 very strange things happened at work today.

the 1st one involved a old man's position when he died.
poor old man, he was sleeping on his bed, in the middle of the night, he rolled off his bed and died. ok, thats not the wierd part. it because beside his bed, theres a table of some sort and when he rolled 'off' the bed, his body fell into this small gap btw the table and the bed.

as a result, he's facing downwards, he's left arm is resting on the tabletop, his right arm resting on the bed, and both his knees are on the floor, somewad as if he's kneeling in a very awkward position.

cause of death is likely to be cardiac arrest although its not known if he rolled off the bed due to the chest discomfort or the atk came only aft he fell off the bed. anyways, the 1st point of impact appears to be his left knee as the knee is resting on the floor, surrounded by a small pool of blood, likely to be caused when the knee 1st made contact with the floor.

well, there was also a small pool of urine 'under' the body. dont ask me why it happens, but sometimes a person suffers from incontinence jus b4 death, i think.

the 2nd strange thing was my last case, picked up the case at a clinic. this middle aged guy had some family disputes and went to cut himself on both arms with a pen knife, resulting at 6 cuts on 1 arm and 4 on the other. apparently the cuts are quite deep, thou i didnt see the wound (it was already bandaged up by the doctor at the clinic) the area that the doctor's assistant was mopping on the floor was quite big, so i assumed there was quite abit of blood loss.

well, anyway the strange part of the case was not the patient. it was our ambulance. i had jus loaded up the patient into the ambulance when suddenly. -zapppp- *darkness*

there was a blackout -_-"
everything with the ambulance is fine except out beacon lights and all the interior lights are out. a fuse probably burned out somewhere. its like... wad the...

we had to get another ambulance from out station to come and take over the case cos our current ambulance is in no position to proceed with the call.

oh well...

ok, to bed
tmr its an off day again
yay~, my 1st off day of the yr 2005 *heh*
-out-