Letters to my future self

20100930

30th Sep - new concept?

Maybe opening in town might not be such a far fetched idea after all. Probably need a simple setup thou, something less elaborate, exhibition booth kind of setup.

This probably reduces the cost on renovations, all we need is the equipment and a partition separating the front and the preparation area. The booth decoration will be simply digital print on canvas, plastered over the wall panels.

Something like KOI at Iluma. Speaking of which, I was told that KOI is actually 豆 written sideways, subtle, but very clever.

Probably going for a tropical theme, attempting a fusion of tropical fruits with the original idea under the '夏の夢' label, which translates roughly to summer's dream, the fact that its in kanji and doesn't trail too far from its chinese counterpart is a bonus.

Toning down the idea also means we can skip the elaborate costumes altogether, sticking with a simple beach wear style uniform, which will be appropriate too, since I suspect a setup like this will probably be outdoor.

The start up cost issue still bugs me. I'm pretty sure I can cough out 10 by the end of next year , but that won't leave me with much. As per most start ups, I probably won't expect to be able to start drawing money out from month 1, so I'm not entirely how long I can keep going. While I hope it won't happen, if we flop, I'll be in caught in a rather bleak looking situation.

I do hope to be able to settle down before I hit 30, but if that happens, then well, plans will have to be pushed back.

I really hope I'm not over thinking this. While I don't want to be making a hasty decision without proper planning, I don't want to be caught procrastinating to the point of dropping the idea entirely. We'll see. For now, 1 step at the time.

-out-

20100928

28th Sep - it never rains but it pours...

Seems like the lens I'd acquired recently has some dust specks in it that are very visible when the lens is at certain focal lengths. Needless to say, I'm now kicking myself for not discovering the fault earlier, even after taking the trouble to go down to test it personally.

God knows how much I have to spend to service it and I thought I got a good deal off it too. If a deal is too good to be true, it probably is and I of all people should know this. So so silly.

-out-

20100927

27th Sep - bumpy road

Been 2 weeks, starting on the 3rd, since I got back. Not everything has been smooth sailing. Got back again to card gaming, which is probably a horrendous decision, seeing that I'd previously laid rest that part of my life. What was worse is that I'd somehow managed to talk myself into buying a case of cards to turn over for profit. It didn't work out as well as I'd hoped. Not only are the rares not moving, I got scammed off the loot cards. Granted, I paid for these with my personal savings and not the money I'm setting aside every month, its still a huge amount and feeling the pinch nevertheless. Money aside, it's also taking up a lot of my time just to get everything sorted. There are piles and boxes of cards all over my room now, unsightly and annoying.

Speaking of savings, I've finally gotten around to starting a new bank account to set aside my money. A chat with Janus the other day revealed that I'm looking at start up costs at about 100k. Good lord, now when the hell am I going to be able to get started at this rate?

The plan to ship mooncakes didn't work. I bought the wrong kind of mooncakes anyway. Strangely enough, it did not occur to me that snowskin mooncakes need to be kept chilled until I got home. Needless to say, it probably won't survive the flight and not turn bad.

Here's hoping I don't add any more bad decisions to the trainwreck...

-out-

20100915

15 Sep - plain silliness

How can anyone fall down while walking? Last I checked, I have 2 legs like everyone else, geez!

-out-

20100913

13th Sep - 振作点吧

自己都说了,只是三个月罢了,又不是三年... 害得周围的人都为自己担心, 真是不象样。
迟迟不向人家告白还差点让她看到自己落泪的一幕,差劲死了。

耐心点罢,有些事是急不来的。 三个月转眼间就过了,别因为一时的冲动害得她分心。

一定做得到的...

-out-

20100912

12 Sep - A moment of weakness

So, this is it. She flew back this morning, drawing a close to my week long break. So much has happened over the past one week... if this was a dream, then I'd wish never to wake up.

So many thoughts ran through my mind today at the airport. The plan to put on a brave front obviously failed when she texted me while boarding, asking me not to be upset. New emotions that I've previously never experienced forming an internal struggle. While leaving the airport, I slowly recollected the events that occurred over the past week, the Ipod started playing '关怀方式', before I knew it, tears were rolling. I frantically tried to wipe them off... I really thought I would have been much much stronger than this, apparently not.

"itsonlythreemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonly
threemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonlythree
monthsitsonlythreemonths..."

-out-

20100910

10th Sep - The final night

Her hand in mine, sitting side by side at the breakwater, listening to the waves, looking at the stars...

I'm not sure if I can ask for anymore...

-out-

20100909

9th Sep - Exhilarated

The mystery insect might have been bedbugs. Scored a few more bites late night (not by choice) to reaffirm my suspicions. The itch woke me up a couple of times over the night, the interrupted sleep cycles made me feel like crap in the morning. Traveled pretty far out today to some mountain (?) where there's a waterfall of some sort. The views there were great, but I think our driver got really tired out, both by the drive out there and the climb.

On other news, we're officially an item now. Small steps, slowly, but surely.

-out-

20100908

8th Sep - Mystery insect bite

Woke up in the morning with some swelling just below my right palm and a stretch of redness stretching all the way to my upper arm. Very odd, never seen anything like it, it doesnt hurt, itches slightly, but definitely swollen.

Despite my initial protests, everyone seemed to want a doctor take a look at it. Ended up with a jab and some cream. hopefully the swelling would subside tomorrow. Got a change of bedsheets too, so hopefully I don't wake up with a fresh batch of swelling.

Apart from the arm, everything else is slightly more upbeat, still some odd moments, but managed to get a decent one on one conversation going just before lunch, which was helpful. Went museum hopping for the rest of the day, learning more about the history of Malacca, and Admiral Cheng Ho. A boat ride around Malacca river rounded up the day. Might have been a more tiring day then I have realized.

Time to hit the sack...
-Out-

7th Sep - inadequacies exposed

It's been a really daunting day one. Met with some members of her family, they were really friendly by the way, and had dinner with them. I kinda envied how closely knitted the family was actually, seems like everyone back home is too busy to sit down and have a proper conversation.

I think I flung the best friend test. I'm just too quiet, her best friend tried very hard to get me to speak more, but I find it difficult to conjure up anything on the spot, just a couple of really meek answers. I sat there looking rather helpless and she had to defend me for the later part of the evening, which was really painful to watch.

The bombshell was when the best friend asked "so what do you guys talk about normally?", it was followed by a moment of awkward silence. This is terrible, what exactly did she see in me?

-out-

20100906

6th Sep - Eve of the storm

4th September a day to remember. Things are still somewhat awkward, but I'm more at ease now. Was going to wait until she got back or after the trip even to sort things out, but she took me by surprise instead.

I've spent way too many years sitting behind the computer talking to people to assume that it's the same deal talking with real people. It's not. I panic, my mind goes blank, I say weird stuff and do incomprehensible things. *sigh* Kinda late now to fix anything. Let's hope I don't mess this opportunity up.

In about 8 hrs from now, I'll probably be on the bus heading north. I really should be in bed, but stuff's semi packed and too many thoughts running through my mind...

-out-