Letters to my future self

9th feb - the greatest way to kickstart CNY...

is to have a heated discussion over msn with 3 other ppl whom u consider as close friends, on whether u all are really close friends anymore.

if theres anything i'm thankful for last night, it would be that the msn network decided that it needed to overload itself and prevent anyone from logging in. so its 'ceasefire' for a while.

we would think that aft so many yrs of friendship, there would be some sort of mutual understanding amongst all of us, apparently not.

this is a tragedy, really. i've rarely been this upset, or angry. multiple times last night, there were so many thoughts running thru my mind, so much so that i dont know which i should put down 1st (or if i shd even put it down at all).

wad do we truly wan to achieve really?
for all of us to celebrate each and every of our tiny milestones in life?
for all of us to huddle together and cry over each of those bad days that we need to go thru?

i thought we've gone beyond the need for that.

u know very well that we chk each of our blogs regularly. even mel who only gets to come out so many times a week take the effort to read wad we've written in the week, and wad has happened recently.

when u had ur 1st byline, we congratulated u from the bottom of our hearts and wished for many more to come. we shared ur joy thru wad we read. so exactly how will messaging u to congratulate u achieve anything else thats not been covered? unless of course u chose to think that aft reading each and every gd thing that happened to u, we would be cursing in front of our computers.

when u 1st revealed ur shocking news to all of us, i'm pretty damn sure many ppl tried to contact u to show concern or support or both. i personally would know, because i msged u too much and got a tongue lashing out of it.

"its easy to forget wad ppl have done for u, but much easier to remember wad ppl havent done for u...."

u think it easy keeping u guys as friends? think again. u're not the only one with fustrations.
y do u think i made it a pt to try and organise gaming sessions at my place when i can afford the time? because i had too much time to burn? or simply because i had nothing better to do?

or maybe i had too much money to spend on boardgames, which for ur info, is bought solely for our gaming sessions. i seriously would save alot of money if i didnt have to organise all this.

and wad normally happens during our gaming sessions? melvyn will go and lie on the bed to sleep or pretend to sleep, wadever. and the rest of us will sit around the table and go "how now?"

whoopi.

play boardgames and rest of the shit indeed.

i find ur arguments weak and ridiculous. if u want out, jus say it, no one will blame u. stop making it sound like u're the only one that has a hard time here, because we all do.

"u're locked urself in n swallowed the key to the exit"

either we work to break down this door, or this is really the end.
i personally dont wan to see that happening.

its back to work tomorrow, lucky thing, cause i really need to take my mind off some matters
-out-