Letters to my future self

aug 22th - self reflection

i was told today that i had this habit that i havent been noticing about myself.

apparently i have this tendency to go the extra mile to do some stuff... but more often then not, these efforts arent appreciated. which, i think is fine actually, except, i also have this tendency to complain and whine alot after that. (not appreciating my efforts is fine, thou, if someone actually complains.... heh, i can go on complaining and whining for over a week)

events that come to mind are singapore's only LOTR team event, the boardgaming nonsense, etc.

come to think of it, its like taking a penalty kick. it takes alot to go up to the spot and take the kick. you score when people appreciate your efforts, hit the woodwork (dio diang!) when people dont.
while most people dont remember much after that, the person who misses the penalty will remember it and it will haunt him for a realllllly long time.

other news, have thrown the towel on the project, i'm not getting enough assistance and i dont have the time to be doing it almost entirely by myself.

my avengers playsets are more or less completed after mysteriously managing to trade/buy/open 4 cap's today. the highest number of monica rambeau's i've once owned is now raised to 10 from 9 (i'm GOD-LIKE!).

however, also due to the above, i'm swimming in debt now. strangely enough, i thought working is suppose to bring balance to my financial woes. apparently not, given the added totals of my salary from work and my ns allowance, its still not really in the positives yet. between buying cards, celebrating occasions, lending out money, not quite enough. currently its -500++ vs +200++. then again i'm still waiting for some online stuff to clear. its been almost 2 weeks and i've heard no news, i'm getting worried. if it doesnt clear soon, i might need to be selling arms and legs.

i need to pray for more work until then.
living life on the edge... exciting, but dangerous.

-out-