Letters to my future self

2011-06-07T22:43:00.001+08:00

5th Jun - <3

2011-03-29T21:43:00.003+08:00

29th Mar - Me, my music and the long road ahead...

2 hrs, 26 mins, 32secs. The time it takes to walk from Dhoby Ghaut back home. It's a long walk. But it gave me the time to slowly run through the things that have happened so far.

I'll be honest, life isn't exactly the greatest right now, things are falling apart. Mum's ill, Dad's struggling to deal with the bills. Despite my promotion, work isnt really exciting, the quality of my work is dropping and then there's the whole thing about letting my instincts guide me.

Look where that got me. I'm dishonored, upset my beloved and no doubt will disappoint many more.

What have I done? Who am I? What am I going to do?
I so wish I could cry right now, it might not solve my problems, but at least I might feel a little better.

-out-

2011-01-04T10:26:00.003+08:00

4th Jan - New Year resolutions

A few days late, but still going to put them down anyway.

- Career

Will be keeping a look out for change, I'm pretty certain this isn't what I signed up for nor what I want. It may seem too hasty to rush to start up this year, but we'll see. Starting in a neighboring country is a possibility due to lower start up costs and risks (?) but might be difficult to manage due to the distance.

- Investments

NEED to stop making bad investments. Cards is a bad idea, given the current exchange rate and competition and risks. Will need to see if the money in the other account is suitable for other forms of safer investments.

- Family

Hope everything turns out fine for mum. She's been slightly emotional these days due to her pain and probably said some stuff that she didn't really mean, so I really hope the doctors can find out what's bothering her exactly.

Everything else seems to be moving ahead faster than I'd anticipated, I enjoyed the time we spent together, although there are vast areas where I probably can improve on. I'm not too picky with food so I generally leave the meals decision to her, but I probably should take the initiative from time to time. Finding more conversation topics will be great, it's just funny because since young, teachers have been complaining that I've been too talkative and now when I'm not, people are telling me that I should speak more. *heh*

That kind of wraps up my plans for the year, let see how many of them I can fulfill over the next 12 months.

-out-

2010-12-20T23:54:00.003+08:00

20th Dec - Lost

Approaching the end of the year now, yet I cant help but feel I'm back to where I began 4-5 months ago. That same feeling of fear and uncertainty...

I'll be honest, I not going anywhere where I'm at right now. Or at least it doesn't seem so. Everyday at work seems to be just fighting fire or plugging leaks or holding out until a more permanent solution is in place. I don't feel I'm contributing anything significant and I'm not good at marketing myself either, which doesn't help me move higher up the ladder. Case in question is the recent performance appraisal. I wrote so little, my boss ended up writing in additional stuff for me. But I really can't bring myself to rate my performance full marks on every aspect, unlike *some* of my managers.

The plan initially was to hold out until bonus then look out for a new job, preferably something that will help me work towards my goal of starting a business. The 1st round of bonuses won't be until March, which kinda holds back the plan. I'm not sure I want to stay here very much longer, yet at the same time, I'm not sure what I really want in life.

Starting a business is the goal that I'm working towards right now, but is it truly worth the risk? Technically speaking, I could keep going at this job, it'd chip at me slowly, but it does what it needs to do - pay the bills. Is there a real need for me to quit my current one, take a pay cut, put everything on the line and delve into the unknown?

I need someone/something to point me in the right direction...

*sigh*
-out-

2010-12-11T10:16:00.004+08:00

11th Dec - Northbound

Made 2 trips up north recently to spend the weekend with my loved one. For some reason both times, something would go wrong somewhere, beyond planning, beyond control. The 1st time round I was meant to go up to surprise her. The 1st hiccup came when I was entering Malaysia - passport wasn't stamped. Then I spent a good 2 hours walking around her neighborhood trying to find her place, getting slightly lost in the process. Going back home, I left a T shirt behind. *sigh*

As in turns out leaving the T shirt behind wasn't such a terrible mistake, since it meant that I could bring 1 less change of clothes up the next time. The 2nd time northbound, I was truly on my own. No more silly mistakes at the custom, even though, upon boarding the bus, I realised that I had left behind a bag of chocolates I'd meant to bring with me, in my rush to leave office. And this time back home, I left my netbook charger behind. *argh*

At the rate I'm going, one of these days, I might actually forget to come home. *tsk*

-out-

2010-11-11T11:10:00.000+08:00

11 Nov - Just because I know you're reading this...

老婆, 我爱你! <3

-out-

2010-11-10T13:18:00.003+08:00

10th Nov - draining

I'm tired. Work here is not all smooth sailing. I'm feeling more and more like a mindless drone these days. I'm just merely executing instructions. What's more frustrating is when I see the managers try to get away with doing stuff and it somehow makes its way onto my lap. My desk is so messy now, I haven't yet have the time to tidy it up properly. My shoulders are stiff, I've lost weight and gained eye bags. Yay, go me.

Sometimes I tell myself that maybe I need a short getaway to clear my head, but I only took a holiday no more than 2 months ago!

*sigh*
-out-

2010-11-07T13:07:00.003+08:00

7th Nov - on wheels

Driving is stressful, at least for me, since I don't drive that often. So, it was pretty gutsy of me to arrange and even make the suggestion to drive her home. It didn't work out too awful, we're both safe and sound at home, although given a chance, I might want to study the map a little more before heading out.

The trip to her place was surprisingly ok. I had some doubts when I was exiting KPE on whether I was on the right track, panicked a little when I saw the traffic jam (there was an accident) and panicked again nearer to her place when I thought I'd missed a turn, hitting the accelerator when I should be hitting the brakes and what not.

The return trip was slightly more messy, it took me awhile before I found my way back to PIE and even then, I missed the turn slightly and debated for awhile before deciding to make an illegal turn up the expressway. It was all fine on the PIE until where I was supposed to switch to the KPE, the road split 2 ways and I wasn't too sure which one it was. Almost came to a standstill when the taxi behind me horned. ><" Randomly picked one and ended up in Aljunied. *oh well* Thankfully, I was more familiar with the roads around in that area, since Jiemin stays there and we hold our gaming session there quite frequently. So I managed to navigate my way back. Took longer than I'd expected, but still home nevertheless. Heh, hopefully I'll get it right the next time, assuming there's a next. ><"

-out-

2010-11-01T11:07:00.002+08:00

1st Nov - Delightful

I'd like to think that I'm smiling more these days, which isn't at all a bad thing. It's like the world is more colorful and vibrant these days, makes me want to go out and see more things.

It was really enjoyable weekend, we didn't spend that much time together, but I think it was time well spent. I shared with her some of the people I hang out with and some of the things I enjoy doing.

The funniest thing that happened all weekend was when on Saturday, she asked me over msn why I had not made any attempt to hold her hand over the last 2 days ><". That took me by surprise. It's not that I didn't want to, but I just haven't mustered enough courage to do so. It's a tough call bearing in mind to be respectful, mindful of her personal space and being together. It really helps that she's very straightforward in this aspect, since I'm slow in taking up the hints (if there were any in the 1st place). But I really need to start taking initiatives. Jeanie is right, I can't always be letting her make the 1st moves...

-out-

2010-10-18T12:55:00.002+08:00

18th Oct - Plot twist

Seems like she was really unhappy at her current job and something happened last week that was the last straw. She tendered her resignation following that incident. Her management has yet to get back to her about it, but assuming she serves her 1 month's notice, she would be back mid next month.

I'm naturally delighted by this, its a nice surprise, at the same time I'm also hoping that its a correct decision on her part. Up til now, I've refrained from making direct advice to her regarding her work as I feel I do not fully grasp her field of work and the work environment but if things are as she described, then she might as well come back here. I believe there are other opportunities to be explored here.

Now, all I need to do is to quickly tidy up that dump I call my room and look forward to Christmas. =)

-out-

2010-10-12T12:03:00.002+08:00

12th Oct - Civilization

Civilization V came out a couple of weeks back, missed the 4th installment in the series, so I thought I'd give this one a try. I'm actually more excited about this one than starcraft actually. For one this game is a complete package, not region locked and ... still cheaper.

Compared to its processors, this one boosts a vast improvement in graphics. Game play however, is relatively the same. The game is now hooked up onto steam thou and has an achievement page, which further increases the replay value of the game.

Now while I've been busy playing Civilization on my PC, it seems that ants have taken up civilization within my room. Signs that I need to start tidying up soon, which is probably a good idea, since I'm probably expecting guests sometime in the near future. It's kinda amazing and worrying at the same time, how much stuff I've allowed myself to accumulate and pile up. Probably need to have a more systematic way to store my stuff. Not having my own private space is kinda troublesome, but I probably can find a workaround somehow, I think.

Too many things to do and too little things getting done, probably a good idea to put gaming aside for the time being...

-out-

2010-10-03T22:53:00.002+08:00

3rd oct - new considerations?

Maybe I should get a part time job over the weekends. It's not like I'm really using the time productively. Rather than spending more money, maybe I should convert the time to gaining relevant experience and/or making money instead.

Will I be able to juggle it all without burning out thou?

-out-

2010-10-01T12:57:00.002+08:00

1st Oct - absence makes the heart grow fonder?

I certainly hope so. Just when I'm about the strike the 1st month off the calender, the date of her return is pushed back by 1 month. From the company's point of view it doesnt quite make sense to let her return in December and return again in February for Chinese New Year, so yea. Can totally understand why, but still a bummer nevertheless.

On the bright side, promised that I might be able to let her sample some of the products I intend to sell, so that gives me an additional month to tinker around. I'm probably going to have to start experimenting soon. Got to get all the cards out of the way and decide if I'm ever going to complete the cosplay...

-out-

2010-09-30T12:51:00.003+08:00

30th Sep - new concept?

Maybe opening in town might not be such a far fetched idea after all. Probably need a simple setup thou, something less elaborate, exhibition booth kind of setup.

This probably reduces the cost on renovations, all we need is the equipment and a partition separating the front and the preparation area. The booth decoration will be simply digital print on canvas, plastered over the wall panels.

Something like KOI at Iluma. Speaking of which, I was told that KOI is actually 豆 written sideways, subtle, but very clever.

Probably going for a tropical theme, attempting a fusion of tropical fruits with the original idea under the '夏の夢' label, which translates roughly to summer's dream, the fact that its in kanji and doesn't trail too far from its chinese counterpart is a bonus.

Toning down the idea also means we can skip the elaborate costumes altogether, sticking with a simple beach wear style uniform, which will be appropriate too, since I suspect a setup like this will probably be outdoor.

The start up cost issue still bugs me. I'm pretty sure I can cough out 10 by the end of next year , but that won't leave me with much. As per most start ups, I probably won't expect to be able to start drawing money out from month 1, so I'm not entirely how long I can keep going. While I hope it won't happen, if we flop, I'll be in caught in a rather bleak looking situation.

I do hope to be able to settle down before I hit 30, but if that happens, then well, plans will have to be pushed back.

I really hope I'm not over thinking this. While I don't want to be making a hasty decision without proper planning, I don't want to be caught procrastinating to the point of dropping the idea entirely. We'll see. For now, 1 step at the time.

-out-

2010-09-28T13:01:00.002+08:00

28th Sep - it never rains but it pours...

Seems like the lens I'd acquired recently has some dust specks in it that are very visible when the lens is at certain focal lengths. Needless to say, I'm now kicking myself for not discovering the fault earlier, even after taking the trouble to go down to test it personally.

God knows how much I have to spend to service it and I thought I got a good deal off it too. If a deal is too good to be true, it probably is and I of all people should know this. So so silly.

-out-

2010-09-27T10:52:00.004+08:00

27th Sep - bumpy road

Been 2 weeks, starting on the 3rd, since I got back. Not everything has been smooth sailing. Got back again to card gaming, which is probably a horrendous decision, seeing that I'd previously laid rest that part of my life. What was worse is that I'd somehow managed to talk myself into buying a case of cards to turn over for profit. It didn't work out as well as I'd hoped. Not only are the rares not moving, I got scammed off the loot cards. Granted, I paid for these with my personal savings and not the money I'm setting aside every month, its still a huge amount and feeling the pinch nevertheless. Money aside, it's also taking up a lot of my time just to get everything sorted. There are piles and boxes of cards all over my room now, unsightly and annoying.

Speaking of savings, I've finally gotten around to starting a new bank account to set aside my money. A chat with Janus the other day revealed that I'm looking at start up costs at about 100k. Good lord, now when the hell am I going to be able to get started at this rate?

The plan to ship mooncakes didn't work. I bought the wrong kind of mooncakes anyway. Strangely enough, it did not occur to me that snowskin mooncakes need to be kept chilled until I got home. Needless to say, it probably won't survive the flight and not turn bad.

Here's hoping I don't add any more bad decisions to the trainwreck...

-out-

2010-09-15T20:06:00.001+08:00

15 Sep - plain silliness

How can anyone fall down while walking? Last I checked, I have 2 legs like everyone else, geez!

-out-

2010-09-13T23:13:00.004+08:00

13th Sep - 振作点吧

自己都说了，只是三个月罢了，又不是三年... 害得周围的人都为自己担心，真是不象样。
迟迟不向人家告白还差点让她看到自己落泪的一幕，差劲死了。

耐心点罢，有些事是急不来的。三个月转眼间就过了，别因为一时的冲动害得她分心。

一定做得到的...

-out-

2010-09-12T17:13:00.007+08:00

12 Sep - A moment of weakness

So, this is it. She flew back this morning, drawing a close to my week long break. So much has happened over the past one week... if this was a dream, then I'd wish never to wake up.

So many thoughts ran through my mind today at the airport. The plan to put on a brave front obviously failed when she texted me while boarding, asking me not to be upset. New emotions that I've previously never experienced forming an internal struggle. While leaving the airport, I slowly recollected the events that occurred over the past week, the Ipod started playing '关怀方式', before I knew it, tears were rolling. I frantically tried to wipe them off... I really thought I would have been much much stronger than this, apparently not.

"itsonlythreemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonly
threemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonlythreemonthsitsonlythree
monthsitsonlythreemonths..."

-out-

2010-09-10T23:54:00.001+08:00

10th Sep - The final night

Her hand in mine, sitting side by side at the breakwater, listening to the waves, looking at the stars...

I'm not sure if I can ask for anymore...

-out-

2010-09-09T23:07:00.002+08:00

9th Sep - Exhilarated

The mystery insect might have been bedbugs. Scored a few more bites late night (not by choice) to reaffirm my suspicions. The itch woke me up a couple of times over the night, the interrupted sleep cycles made me feel like crap in the morning. Traveled pretty far out today to some mountain (?) where there's a waterfall of some sort. The views there were great, but I think our driver got really tired out, both by the drive out there and the climb.

On other news, we're officially an item now. Small steps, slowly, but surely.

-out-

2010-09-08T22:19:00.002+08:00

8th Sep - Mystery insect bite

Woke up in the morning with some swelling just below my right palm and a stretch of redness stretching all the way to my upper arm. Very odd, never seen anything like it, it doesnt hurt, itches slightly, but definitely swollen.

Despite my initial protests, everyone seemed to want a doctor take a look at it. Ended up with a jab and some cream. hopefully the swelling would subside tomorrow. Got a change of bedsheets too, so hopefully I don't wake up with a fresh batch of swelling.

Apart from the arm, everything else is slightly more upbeat, still some odd moments, but managed to get a decent one on one conversation going just before lunch, which was helpful. Went museum hopping for the rest of the day, learning more about the history of Malacca, and Admiral Cheng Ho. A boat ride around Malacca river rounded up the day. Might have been a more tiring day then I have realized.

Time to hit the sack...
-Out-

2010-09-08T00:17:00.002+08:00

7th Sep - inadequacies exposed

It's been a really daunting day one. Met with some members of her family, they were really friendly by the way, and had dinner with them. I kinda envied how closely knitted the family was actually, seems like everyone back home is too busy to sit down and have a proper conversation.

I think I flung the best friend test. I'm just too quiet, her best friend tried very hard to get me to speak more, but I find it difficult to conjure up anything on the spot, just a couple of really meek answers. I sat there looking rather helpless and she had to defend me for the later part of the evening, which was really painful to watch.

The bombshell was when the best friend asked "so what do you guys talk about normally?", it was followed by a moment of awkward silence. This is terrible, what exactly did she see in me?

-out-

2010-09-06T23:08:00.003+08:00

6th Sep - Eve of the storm

4th September a day to remember. Things are still somewhat awkward, but I'm more at ease now. Was going to wait until she got back or after the trip even to sort things out, but she took me by surprise instead.

I've spent way too many years sitting behind the computer talking to people to assume that it's the same deal talking with real people. It's not. I panic, my mind goes blank, I say weird stuff and do incomprehensible things. *sigh* Kinda late now to fix anything. Let's hope I don't mess this opportunity up.

In about 8 hrs from now, I'll probably be on the bus heading north. I really should be in bed, but stuff's semi packed and too many thoughts running through my mind...

-out-

2010-08-17T23:23:00.002+08:00

17th Aug -

Mind's a jumbled bag of thoughts at the moment. Plans are slowly shaping up, albeit at a really slow pace.

Mostly preoccupied with the costume... dates for AFA (13th-14th Nov) and EOY (12th Dec) have been fixed, which kinda puts pressure to hasten the crafting process. To date, I've transferred most of the stuff to cardboard, a process which should really be completed by this weekend. I've began fitting some of the pieces and not too pleased with the size. So that will need additional tweaking. Still have yet to finalize what I intend to use to fabricate the end product. It most definitely will involve foam boards, just whether there's anything else on top of that... and the finishing. If I don't find that gunmetal paint I'm looking for, then will have to fall back on gray. Still not even sure if the mediums I'm using can be sprayed on directly. Will probably require further testing.

The other project has taken a backseat in the meantime. Had a small machine shipped in thou. Not my most ideal type of machine, but it'll make some decent samples, I hope. Put some thoughts into the execution and thinking that maybe jumping straight into town might not be the best idea, seeing that the bunch of us are really amateurs in this field. Maybe similar product with a different concept under a different label at a less populated area. Will probably be easier to upkeep and allow us to experience the problems 1st hand and tweak them until we're ready to take on a bigger stage. Aside from that, been putting some thought into the possible ingredients that can be used, so at least I know where to find them when I can start. Target to start experimenting in Jan.

On lesser news, this is probably the most I've ever spent on cosmetic upgrades in a single month. Learning partly for cosplay and for other misc reasons. The only conclusion thus far is that all the names are either in some kind of alien language or sounds like some alien language or both. *rolls eyes*

-out-

2010-07-26T23:59:00.004+08:00

26th Jul - oh, how so annoying

Such an unpleasant day. Random phone call, stupid request and still had the audacity to hang up on me. Its not like I even report to you anymore. If you need it done, get someone with higher authority to talk to me, your words don't carry weight with me anymore. Also, requests generally sit better than demands, seeing that you're practically asking for help here.

Things like this are draining my energy, makes me wonder why I'm still here. Need to quickly finish up what I had set myself to do and give myself closure, so at least I'm mentally prepared to take off. As much as I hope to at least hang around until November, I'm going to take my chances when opportunities present themselves.

On less frustrating thoughts, I've been wondering if I sometimes take things too seriously or I over weigh the practicality of things/actions. Am I being too rigid and missing out on stuff? I sometimes really do admire my peers at how carefree they seem, how they always seem to be 'living in the moment', yet I'm always worrying about the future. I don't expect there to be a right or wrong answer to this question, but I really do wonder how others think of me, at times...

-out-

2010-07-20T10:15:00.002+08:00

20th July - One step at a time.

Thoughts are so jumbled right now. Maybe I really should go out and take walks more often to clear my head. Sometimes will get caught up with the pace I do things, feels kinda rushed, for what reason, I don't even know.

Need to open a new bank account. As much as I can practice self restrain not to spend too much on needless artifacts, I'd probably feel safer if I lock the money up somewhere. Target is to have a 5 digit sum by the time I'm ready to put the business plan in place, sometime mid to late next year. Cant afford to have any more Gurren Laganns throwing wrenches at my financial plans.

And there's still that question. Everyone I've consulted, seems to agree that I probably shouldn't ask... yet. I can see the logic behind it, but I'm also dying to know the answer. *Anxious!*

-Out-

2010-07-14T21:50:00.005+08:00

14 July - Slow pace of things

I kinda got recognition today for something I did nearly 6 months ago. Getting things done isn't difficult, getting people to notice the amount of work and effort put into it, is something else.

When I 1st embarked on the project, to be honest, I cheated. I assigned all the work given to me to my interns, while I concentrated on a workaround solution that would, when completed, make obsolete the work that they are doing for me. I had no prior knowledge of the language, but I'm somewhat aware of the capabilities of the program, something which I'm thankful for the WoW Rogue community for. They were the 1st people that showed me the usefulness of the program in creating simulations. For 2 weeks, I concentrated on learning the coding, F1 was my best friend. The cogs in my head just kept turning as I seek to find the link between the logic and the code. Despite being told that I'm 'wasting my time', I preserved, I made version 1.0. It didn't stop there, 1 week later, I was still ironing out bugs and made version 1.1. It's currently at v2.3, its grown so much that not only is it doing what it was made to replicate, it's doing it better, in more ways than 1. That, and it gives the user full control over the information and its supporting variables.

Arh, I had so much drive then, so eager to prove myself. Yet no one truly noticed what I was doing, I was merely the engine that was running in the background.

But all that is changed now. I got a chance to present the work and impressed enough to even be given the green light to continue development. In fact this piece of work was probably the sole reason for my pay adjustment last week. It wasn't huge, but at least it puts me on par with what starters are getting.

Kinda understood what the chinese meant by 欲速则不达. When I 1st went all out, nothing came out of it, but now that I'm taking things at my own pace, I'm getting noticed. Weird and quite incomprehensible at times.

The only worry now is, the bigger I make the thing, the more tied down I am to it. It has grown to the point where I'm the only person capable of maintaining it if errors occur, which is not a good thing at all. I'll never be able to truly handover this project to anyone else and as such never be able to move on.

I really hope I'm over thinking this and that the situation in reality isn't as bad as it is...

-out-

2010-07-11T22:36:00.002+08:00

11 Jul - 格格不入

Its not that I don't enjoy it hanging out with the guys, but there just some activities that I don't particularly enjoy doing. 2 hours is about as much as I can take, 3 hours is pushing it and the 4th hour onwards, it's just painful. I don't want to be the wet blanket and call for everyone to wrap up either.

Similarly yesterday, we went all the way down only to make an about turn over a $5 admission fee. Granted, the weather wasn't the most conducive and the lighting as a result also suffers. Still, we took the time to go down and... wait for it... skirt around the surroundings. True that there were still things to see, but geez, there could have been so much more!

Dinner was perhaps the only saving grace, on both days. Saturday's dinner was awesome and a big thank you to the people that made it possible. Slops to me for spilling the drinks over the carpet and myself, apparently the hissing sound from the bottle isn't warning enough. tsk.

I'm not showing it, but I'm still very annoyed at a certain comment made yesterday, very low and very inappropriate! I'm not asking for an apology, but if it happens again, I may just blow up.

Today's dinner wasn't awesome, but it was a relief. Having food in front of me means I'm no longer stuck in that place, annoyed, warm and hungry.

*Sigh* There goes another weekend. Here's wishing future weekends are spent more fruitfully.

-out-

2010-07-08T09:51:00.002+08:00

8th Jul - New plans for the rest of the year

1) 秋.Bar
Cost and break-even analysis needs to be established. To start experiment with flavors once the small machine comes in. Will need to find out if the idea is feasible before proceeding further. The new shop opening in Sep (?) kinda throws a stone at the concept, but we'll see how it goes. If anything, it can be used as reference toward our purpose.

2) Cosplay - Edward Elric
Targeted for AFA (nov) and/or EOY (dec). This gives me about 4-5 months to get everything done. Have already more or less decided on the direction, so here's what needs to be done:

- to tone up slightly, dont need to be muscular, but could use more shape on the left arm
- Wig: to purchase one
- Automail arm: already bought the lion boards during the last trip to Japan, whats left is to complete the drawings necessary and construct the arm. Will also need to find a way to recolor it to the desired shade.
- shirt: Black short sleeve, will have to make or modify from existing if a suitable one cannot be found.
- other accessories: pocket watch. To procure?

Its been 3 yrs since that random silly act of mine, I think I'm back on my feet again. Might be making a trip to Malacca later this year and see if it changes anything. Let's hope I'm not reading the signs wrongly this time...

-out-

2010-06-26T02:02:00.005+08:00

26th Jun - Revival?

Don't be surprised if I do. Been reading some of the older stuff I wrote after a brief conversational revisit of some of the stuff that happened during NS. It's interesting how my viewpoints on certain matters have changed (for the better, I hope). Might just keep chronicling these small things that happen around me and come back for a laugh every now and then.

If anything, i probably need to re-skin this thing. This is almost the same template I've used since the very beginning with only minor changes to the layout and color, but we'll see...

-out-

2009-07-14T00:50:00.004+08:00

Letters to my future self

14th Jul - Not sure if...

I should trust doctors anymore. Just a week ago, when my grandma was readmitted into the hospital, the doctors claimed that she's only got 2 weeks left in her. Apparently she's fit to be discharged now.

On a more personal note, things around me seem to be breaking down recently. Granted, I've had some of these artifacts for a number of years, but having them break down within the same time period annoys me to no end. First to go was my watch strap, then my PC, then my glasses. That and I sort of sprained my right ankle on my way home the other day.

That PC breakdown was a terrible experience. Problems were huge, the motherboard appears to be malfunctioning and a faint burning smell is coming out from my power supply. Not good at all. There were a few things I could do. I've been trying to save up for a netbook/laptop for awhile now, so one option was to speed up this process and get one immediately. The downside to that is that, while I do get my internet access restored, the data which I have on my current hard disks cannot be retrieved. That, or I could attempt to fix the machine (I've made some minor upgrades to the hardware some 3 months ago, replacing the whole system doesn't seem too wise.)

Marched off to Sim Lim the following day to acquire the parts I need. Thankfully, I'm still somewhat adept in this computer tinkering thingy. Got a new board, chip, power supply and a spare hard disk. Got home after work to try and assemble it all together, which was then I realised that DDR RAM and DDR2 RAM aren't quite the same thing and that my new board doesnt take the RAM that I currently have. *SIGHhhhh*

That, fortunately, was the last screw up in the entirely fiasco. Another trip back to Sim Lim the following day puts me back on my tracks, the system was able to boot up properly. I would however like to say at this point that WINDOWS BLOODY SUCKS. Upon booting up, windows claims that due to major hardware changes, I'd have to revalidate my copy of windows. That's fine by me, except there are only 2 ways to do it, call them for some code, or do it online. I didn't want to call and the internet is out of the question until I get all my motherboard drivers configured. The best part was, both my mouse and keyboard were USB. motherboard drivers not configured = no USB = no mouse, no keyboard. So I'm essentially stuck there. I eventually found a primitive way of getting around the problem and successfully boot into windows. Now, because my copy of windows has yet to be validated, windows is 'kind' enough to remind me AGAIN AND AGAIN that I need to get that done. As if trying to troubleshoot my driver problems weren't enough, I had to repeatedly deal with an annoying popup that assumes that I'm running a pirated version of windows... Nice.

I was actually looking forward to July, because of the GST credits. $200 towards the netbook/laptop fund helps on a long run. But now gaining that $200 seems trivial compared to the $400 and $170 I spent fixing the comp and getting a new pair of glasses. *SIGH*

My class 3 Practical is coming up next monday, hopefully I can clear that in one attempt and turn my fortunes around for the month ><"

-out- for now.

2009-05-31T10:43:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

31st may - distant worlds

Attended the 'Distant worlds - music from Final Fantasy' last weekend. I haven't played most of the games from the franchise, nor heard their soundtracks, so a large part of the compositions I heard on Saturday were brand new to me. Even then, the experience is pretty surreal. What added to the awesomeness of the concert itself was that Nobuo Uematsu was present. The man who started it all even joined the choir for their final encore performance. Hearing 'To Zanarkand' played live, makes me a very happy person. The big band rendition of the Chocobo Theme is really cool as well. Pity that I didn't manage to get an autograph from Nobuo-san, still the T-shirt I bought is a fair souvenir for the night.

The weekend was horrible in terms of gaming thou. I got eliminated in top 16 for DMF: Singapore for the wow miniatures event. That's one win away from a tiger. Annoyance. I would have won the game too, if only I hard opened my eyes and see what was happening and see through what my opponent didn't want me to see. Intentional or not, he was misleading me at one stage or another, for that I'm really annoyed. Even more annoyed at myself for only realising it AFTER the game. If i had discovered it during the duration of the game, I probably could have gotten a judge to look at the situation. *BAH!*

That's two tigers I missed in two weekends. I'd like to believe in the law of averages, but luck just really isn't working out for me at the moment. *sigh*

-out-

2009-05-12T01:31:00.004+08:00

Letters to my future self

12th May - minor updates

Minor updates cause there really hasnt been much change. I stopped the job hunt thing for a moment to focus on clearing my class 3. Remainder of my free time is spent doing part time work, some gaming, watching anime and catching up on my japanese lessons (the lessons are somewhat progressing too quickly and i'm kinda struggling to keep up).

On other news, I'm some what glad I'm not a christian (anymore). Islamic extremists are heavily criticised for their viewpoints, I'm not too sure if those christian fundamentalists are any different. Strangely enough, the 1st few episodes of FMA seems to be centered around similar religion-like issues. Art imitating life... or life imitating art, I wonder.

watchlist for this season updated
-out- for now...

2009-03-16T01:04:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

16th march - bunch of thoughts

just came back from NUH visiting my grandma. she's not doing too well, been bedridden for months and in the 'final phase' now, i think. my uncles and aunties had a dialogue today to discuss whether or not to go ahead with a certain medical procedure. from what i can tell, the operation has a 10% chance of success, even if it does succeed, my grandma would still not get any better than what she currently is going through. it was a rather heated dialogue which lasted several hrs, which kind ended without resolution.

on the brighter side of things, i won some money off a minatures tournament today, something which hasnt happened in quite awhile (winning money, that is). hobbies that fund themselves arent too bad, really.

-out-

2009-02-19T00:29:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

19th feb - overdue

hmm, its been over 2 months since my last update, hasnt been and major change to my lifestyle thou ><"

i'm still working at mart and not quite actively hunting for another job. my wow acct expires this coming sunday, been at it for 3 yrs? from newbie to raider to gold farmer, time to call it quits, i think. this shd free up alot more time for other stuff now, i suppose.

been trying to expand my horizons slightly, seeing how i still havent found 'proper' employment yet. signed up for jap language classes which will commence in april and finally cleared all the theory driving tests (the advanced theory is surprisingly easier than the basic theory). so hopefully i'd have acquired some driving skills by the end of the yr.

another yr older and another yr spending v-day alone. not that its something which i'm horrendously upset abt, i'm jus ... i dont know, not ready for it, i think. the other day i was contemplating exchanging my duties with a fellow part timer, since he was claiming that he's broke. he didnt wan to do it, cos the day in question jus happened to be feb 14th. chatting with another colleague afterwards when he was gone, i commented on how he was still celebrating v-day when he's broke. my colleague had to remind me that v-day isnt abt spending money, but rather spending time with loved ones. i felt a little silly at that moment.

finally managed to relocate an anime song from a very old robin hood series, which was shown many yrs ago on channel 8. while i cant remember much abt the show, the song left a very deep impression on me. i found the song during my poly days, but lost it when my hard disk crashed. managed to stumble upon it again *points to imeem box at the side*

anime watchlist updated for the current season

-out for now-

2008-11-28T14:17:00.003+08:00

Letters to my future self

28th nov - a real update

life is currently occupied with work, anime, wow and more wow.

wow released its 2nd expansion 2 weeks back, i've met its level cap earlier this week. my drive to play is game is slightly diminished as compared to say, maybe a yr ago. the game still continues to be fun, challenging at times, but there are other things vying for attention now.

for one, there's the wow card game. which i took a hiatus from during my few yrs away from home. i don't really know why i got back to flipping cards, its not something that i'm particularly good at, although i do admit to having alot of fun when playing, something which not all card players can claim. luckily enough, i did qualify for a invites only event at the very 1st qualifiers which i played at, which came to a surprise to many. there were some who called me a 'free frag' in jest and have yet to qualify for the event after 3 tries, jokes on u guys!

this season's anime watchlist brings back continuations of serveral titles i loved from previous seasons (clannad, ef, gundam) as well as a good mix of new titles (kannagi, toradora). clannad is as usual great with the soft color, moe character designs, stuff. the misae arc had me go all 'awww...' at the end of it. ef, on the other hand, is shocking in terms of story development. yuuko's backstory is a slap in the face for anyone not prepared for it. gundam is well.... gundam. meachalaserspewpewpew!

speaking of anime, i had a blast at the recent anime fest asia'08. there are some regretable moments of the fest, but it was still relatively well done, looking at it objectively. at the very least, it raises the awareness about how popular the anime culture is, locally and within the region. the only gripe abt the overall thing is still abt how they seemed to be promoting the movement and yet still try and clamp down on people who are 'illegally' downloading anime.

the 2 guest star performances during the AFA were stellar. Ichiro Mizuki san's performance packs a punch and connects very well with the audience, despite the fact that i havent actually heard any of his songs before. and then there's May'N performance. this one's difficult to evaluate, i really did enjoy the performance, but i wasnt entirely thrilled abt how the organisers or her management handled the thing. no photos, no videos, presigned autograph, 7 songs, no encore. oh well. that, and i paid 68 for a ticket and picked a really bad spot to stand where i cant hardly see anything half the time. i'm neither tall, nor aggressive (as a fan) so i guess, i'm getting the shorter end of the stick. it was however, really fun to see 'sheryl nome' live on stage thou

back to real life, i've decided to turn down OBS's offer for the selection camp. it'd seem that if i do take on the job, i'd be confined in ubin, alot. that somehow or rather feels like signing on to the army, minus the regimental stuff. not something which i'm prepared to undertake at the moment, so its back to the drawing board for now.

in any case, life's not very good right now. this month's expenditure is through the roof due to too many events, releases happening at the same time. more wow means less work means less pay, which really doesnt make alot of sense, since work pays for wow, so less work means less wow on the long run. *sigh*

need to sign myself up for change ><"

-out-

2008-11-07T22:31:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

nov 7th - a minor update

still working part time with mart
still wow-ing
still flipping cards
still looking for a job

anime watchlist updated with stuff i'm following for this season!

-out-

2008-09-25T09:04:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

25th Sep - Impulse purchases and updates

Expenditure this month is pretty high, considering my amounts that i'm currently inputing into my acct.

空の記憶 - Memories of the Sky: Makoto Shinkai Artbook (Thanks Sam!)
Batman: The Killing Joke HC
Coraline Illustrated HC
Kingdom Hearts Formation Arts Series 2 (6+1 Figs)
Kingdom Hearts Formation Arts Series 3 (6 Figs)

the latter 2 purchases set me back by over 250sg, its a bunch of scale models (which can be doubled as chess pieces) featuring characters from Kingdom Hearts. Probably not the best decision I made all month, seeing how it costs me a bomb and i havent yet found a place at home to display them. *Argh* whats worse is, the collection will be extremely hard to complete since series 1 was released in 2005 and was nv reissued *double Argh*

Time slowly slips past, the self imposed date approaches, time to get my resumes and stuff in order. the past month has been refreshing, i cant say i'm healthier, esp with my eating/sleeping habits, but i'm definately fitter now. my running trips now cover 2 and a half rounds around the estate, and my swims cover 30 laps, which isnt too bad for a month's work. I'm also a shade darker now (esp on my back ><"), due to the swims.

oops, time for work
-out-

2008-08-27T01:03:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

27th aug - plans

started exercising recently for more reasons than one. 1stly, it'd probably come in handy if i get called up for ippt. 2ndly, i'd probably look better with more muscle and less fat. and lastly, i'm actually considering the option of apply to be an obs instructor (since i havent really heard from moe)

giving myself until the end of next month to get myself into shape then start properly looking for a 'serious' job. added a daily jog and a weekly swim to my schedule, on top of my standard static exercise routine, hopefully that would help achieve that goal.

as a sign of how long i havent jogged, a mere one round around the estate yesterday saw me nearly breathless and aching all over today. if thats not awful, i dont know what is ><"

song update:
Lion by May'n and Nakajima Megumi, the 2nd OP for macross frontier (which by the way is absolutely kickass, if u dont know that already)

-out-

2008-08-12T22:49:00.003+08:00

Letters to my future self

12 aug - 雨中漫步

jus finished reading 'the resident tourist' by troy chin, a local who studied in the states. he had a job there in the music industry for awhile, but quit it to return to singapore, with no plan in mind. its written/drawn in a narrative manner, depicting his life back in singapore, with flashbacks of his childhood.

its a rather engaging story, one which i can relate to, since i'm sort of going thru the same phase right now. in any case, it can be read online at http://www.drearyweary.com/ (resident tourist parts 1-3, with more to come?) or the hard copies (content is exactly the same as the online one) can be purchased at $10 per part at sunshine plaza (so far only parts 1 and 2 are printed)

and so after finishing up part 3 today, i went out with plenty of things to think abt. headed out to bishan (my, how much the place has changed since i last visited the place and to think that i used to hang out there on a daily basis for close to 2 yrs), took some pictures of jacob's 'singapore's largest cracker' which is basically a giant cracker made as a promotion stint. following that i headed over to scotts road to see the 'Lifesize F1 car made of chocolate'. it took me awhile to realise that the old scotts shopping centre is no longer there.

The same street, the same person, yet it feels so different. whats changed? the place or the person?

thoughts jus kept running thru my head today as i made my way around today. uncertainty. fear. mum was right, compared to my younger brother, i'm much less receptive of new things. he's always the one to try out new stuff, i'm the hesitant one. afraid of failing.

as i walked around, it started drizzling. its been awhile since i walked in the rain, although the last time it happened, it wasnt by choice. it was back in australia, when it started to rain on my way to the supermarket. heavy rain with no where to hide.

lost is what i feel at the moment. i have no idea where i'm heading and i have no concrete plans. everything has come to a halt since abt 2 months ago, maybe more. i've lost my direction.

i hope i straighten this up soon and start moving on. and i'm certainly hoping that i'm not over-thinking this one.

-out-

2008-08-06T01:04:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

6th aug - graduation and beyond

finally graduated now. *phew*
looking at my academic transcript, i cant help but think that i really could have done alot better, but oh well, whats over is over. time to start looking ahead and planning my next steps.

back home in singapore, the heat is like ... woah. considering that i've spent close to 1 month in the australian winter and suddenly switching to the weather here, its a pretty big change.

been catching up with ppl and watching moves for the past few days, will start work at mart soon so at least theres some input into the bank acct for the time being. and if theres anything i learnt over the past couple of days, it'd be that playing the wii can be really tiring and can induce muscle aches.

caught dark knight and red cliff yesterday and today respectively.
the story for dark knight was amazing, so many times in the movie where i felt that the movie might be near its ending and it didnt, it jus went on and on. heath ledger's potrayal of joker was like.... wow. i actually wonder if he can be nominated for (or even win) an oscar now that he's no longer around. that qoute from harvey dent abt "you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villian" ... soooo cool.

red cliff was pretty awesome as well. the movie was filled with comedic moments, which was somehow different from the way i 'see' those characters, but it did make the movie ...idk, less 'boring' for the non three kingdom fans? was also slightly disappointed that they left the more symbolic moments in the story out, like how liu bei threw his son to the ground aft zhao yun saved him and the palm strike between zhuge liang and zhou yu. bugged me slightly, but the overall presentation was great, plenty of detail in the war scenes and all. am so going to catch the next part when it comes out.

been doing abit of experimenting with cloth, thread and needles as well over the past few days. tried making bags out of felt cloth, makes for nice presentation (with a personal touch) for some of the gifts that i might have to give out over the next few days. completed a prototype yesterday and made my 1st actual one earlier today in less than 3 hrs. although if not for the time contrain, i probably would have done a much better job. crooked stitches dont look very nice ><". my fingers now hurt from all the needle pushing, lol.

i used to think that a moment of awkward silence is bad, i now know that a whole night of awkward silence, is worse.

oh well... heh
-out-

2008-07-19T22:17:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

20th july - sightseeing

been a really busy weekend, my uncle and aunt flew over from singapore to attend my cousin's graduation, so the 2 of us (me and my bro) went up to meet up with them. my cousin rented a vehicle and showed us around brisbane, went sightseeing and ate quite abit.

we visited lone pine, which is a australian wildlife sanctuary located along the brisbane river. finally got to see some of the native australian wildlife up close, koalas, kangaroos, wallabies, kookabaras, etc. will upload some of the pictures when i'm not so lazy :p

-out-

2008-07-09T23:32:00.003+08:00

Letters to my future self

10th jul - gencon oz 2008

took last weekend off, traveled up to brisbane for gencon oz, a 4 day gaming convention. its the 1st of its kind in australia, if i'm not mistaken. sadly to say, upon arrival, it didnt quite match up my expectations. i was kinda hoping that it would be similar to its american counterpart, but it was waaaay smaller and the content was lacking. (3 days of boardgaming is somewhat fun, except it cost me 66aus for admission and i no longer buy boardgames anymore). random cosplay is fun to watch too, i guess.

still, it gave me 4 days away from home, sort out my thoughts, change of environment and re-plan some stuff. (and catch up with some old friends)

brother jus arrived here today, prob will be kept busy for the next few days as i show him around. dinner time will be a nightmare, i'll be struggling to cook up some proper meals for the 2 of us. ><"

ever since bryan sent me the youtube link to randy pausch's 'the last lecture', i've viewed it a number of times, both the condensed 'oprah' version and the original 1+ long lecture. its thought invoking and touching with plenty of humor to boot. for some reason, despite watching it so many times, my eyes still fill with tears every time he gets to the last slide. i highly recommend catching it, if you havent already seen it before.

"失败了，从新再来，决对不会向困难低头 - 坚持不渝!"

-out-

2008-07-01T10:25:00.004+08:00

Letters to my future self

1st jul - oh, bummer.

guess i was falling after all. wasnt a hard fall, picked myself up, i'm still walking, so nothing's broken. probably jus gonna sit in a corner and sulk for a few days, but i'm fine, i'll get over it.

there's a 1st (a lot of 1sts, in fact, for this case :p) for everything, i guess

"The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people!" -Randy Pausch, "the last lecture"

new feature song:
Kasumi (雾) from 369, OP of Daughter of 20 faces
"いつまでも君を探して..."

-out-

2008-06-22T04:07:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

22nd jun - "fear of falling"

'fear of falling', the title in an issue of sandman from the 'fables and reflection' compilation.

"It is sometimes a mistake to climb, it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt."

i sort of confessed to her today. we've been chatting on and off for the past weeks. we even had a webcam session last night when she had to stay up late alone at home to get some assignment done, had the webcam on so that i can watch over her (dont ask, i dont know either) . so it got up to the pt where i felt like i was standing at the edge of a cliff... and i decided to take the jump.

i asked if she would believe me if i told her that back then, i flew back to see her.

"Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes the fall kills you. And sometimes, when you fall, you fly."

problem is, i cant tell if i'm falling now... or flying.

-out-

2008-06-14T23:19:00.004+08:00

Letters to my future self

15th jun - week 14

classes are finally over, even had my 1st exam this morning. another paper in 12 days time and i'd be done for the time. nearly had a panic attack last night due to a mix up on the exam dates. i actually thought this morning's paper was to be held next monday. thankfully i realised that mistake in time and there was a mad rush to cramp info into my head, staying up the whole night to get it done. end results? i probably messed up the paper, a bare pass maybe. good news is, i honestly dont think i can fail this subject, having already 41% of the overall grade from my mid sem and assignment contributions. its gonna affect my gpa thou *growl*

on the googlebox over the past month:

-House season 4
finally wrapped up all the eps that i missed following the writer's strike, lost of tv.links also made finding the eps alot more troublesome. dramatic ending for an otherwise short season. funny how cutthroat bitch abbreviates to CB and how much she actually contributes towards the finale.

-Honey and clover (ハチミツとクローバー) I & II
didnt think i would actually like the series initially, as its based on a shoujo (少女) manga. gave it a go on recommendation and i actually liked it. its like seeing shades of myself in the different characters in the story. seeing takemoto go on the bicycle journey towards the end of season one makes me wan to go backpacking ><"

Feature song:
Sora to Umi no Shi (空と海の詩) which translates to 'song/poem of the sky and ocean' from the 5cm/sec soundtrack. its my fav instrument piece in the whole soundtrack, this one is played in cosmonaut when kanae successfully rode the waves for the 1st time. listening to it makes me feel calm and instills hope. its this piece of music that i had looped on my ipod on my recent 8 hr flight back home. =p

-out-

2008-05-23T13:22:00.003+08:00

Letters to my future self

23rd may - modifications

Alright, as most of you would have noticed by now, i tinkered with the blog layout abit. tagboard is back (for now), theres a song feature now and also updated with my anime watch list, so i can keep tabs on how many titles i'm actually following.

i'm surprised at the number of titles i'm currently following actually. had initially thought that this season would be rather boring, but as it seems, i jus kept picking up new titles without realising it. before long, the list grew to 10 over titles, of which, 8-9 of them are from this season.

the 1st feature song is diamond crevasse by May'n (sheryl nome is the name of the character in the anime that sings this song). this is the ED1 for macross frontier (which btw, is one of my favorites for this season)

school is currently on the 11th week, 13th being the final week for classes. my papers are scheduled for the 14th of jun and the 26th of jun. 12 days apart! (WTH) and both at 8.30am! (*facepalm*)

time to wrap up on assignments.
-out-

2008-05-12T21:47:00.006+08:00

Letters to my future self

12th may - go-kart pictures

overview of the race track

BAM!

Still in one piece!

group shot

-out-

2008-05-08T23:10:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

8th may - minor accident

got into a tiny accident on sunday. group of us singaporean students got together to do go-karting. we paid 70 aus for 18 rounds round the track, split into 2 sets. for the 1st set of 9, we used a slower engine, and for the 2nd set, a faster one. jus for estimates, the slower engine clears the track in ~50-60 secs, and the faster engine covers the same distance in ~40-50 secs.

it was all fine from the start despite a couple of hiccups (hitting the brakes and wondering y the kart isnt slowing down, cos my other leg is still on the accelerator.. DUH). anyways, the 1st set was pretty uneventful.

the 2nd set however was when i messed it up. despite being not used to the change in speed, on the 3rd lap, when making a sharp turn around a corner, i somehow decided to go at full speed anyways. the next bit is a bit blurry, but i think i stuck a kerb and the resulting force caused the vehicle to flip. it happened fairly quickly and by the time i realised what was happening, i was by the side of the track, upside down, still buckled to the vehicle and in a really awkward position. struggled for a bit to find the buckle of the seat belt, got out, took my helmet off. thankfully injuries dont seem to be too serious. abrasions on on my left elbow, theres a patch of skin that came off my left palm, another abrasion on my right wrist, some bruising on my right elbow and some scratches on my legs.

they hurt quite abit, but its nothing serious, mostly superficial. although my right elbow doesnt quite work properly now, hurts a bit when i fully extend it. (which is extremely annoying, cos i only recently recovered from another injury on that same elbow, pfft)

a friend managed to catch some pictures jus aft the accident, i'll see if i can get hold of them and post them up or something.

but seriously, that was pretty weak on my part. apparently those go-karts arent supposed to flip so easily, at least thats what the person claims. as a matter of fact, jus right before i flipped, one of my friends asked the instructor there whats the likelihood of karts overturning. the guy said something along the lines of "those karts are very stable and the chances of them rolling over is lesser than the chances of striking the lottery" and 2 mins later *bam!*

kuakuakua...

on other news, i managed to bump into her online the other day, had a short conversation on msn. i dont really know what to make of it. sometimes it feels like ....we're living in 2 different worlds or something.

oh well...
-out-

2008-04-23T15:15:00.003+08:00

Letters to my future self

23rd apr - 梦幻之旅

and so.... the wild ride comes to an end. for those of u who are going to ask "so how did it go?" my answer would be "i dont know". outcomes are unclear at this point, but i went out there and did what i'd set out to do and that alone is sufficient for me, at least. it was one hell of a journey and i'm glad i decided to do it.

18hrs of flight, 3 countries, 4 airports, 3 different carriers. on top of having to fight off the feeling of dread i have for flying. i'm also now a lot poorer, but u can always earn money back and there are somethings in this world, that money just cant buy...

there are things on this trip that definitely could be done better. again, there were things that happened outside my predictions/calculations, but that just adds to the excitement of it all.

note to self (or lessons learned this trip)
- breadtalk in citylink doesnt take nets (althou i'm not sure to date if this applies to all branches or jus the citylink one)
- the nearest atm to breadtalk citylink, is probably inside raffles city and not, like i'd assumed further into the city link tunnel (at least according to the concierge guy in the city link tunnel)
- when u run/sprint around in jeans/long sleeved t-shirt in singapore weather, u will sweat, a lot. even if its an air conditioned place ie. city link.
- when communicating with the restaurant staff to seek their assistance in bringing the cake in, make sure to tell them how many candles to put on the cake. otherwise, they'd go for the 'safe' assumption of 'one'
- learn to smile more *sheesh*
- and when someone u'd really wish to see wans to send u off at the airport, seriously, DONT TRY TO TALK THEM OUT OF IT. *facepalm*

"在此给一位我最欣赏的女生献上最真挚的祝福 - 生日快乐!"
-out-

2008-04-15T21:52:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

15th apr - anxiety

as the date draws closer, i'm beginning to feel a bit nervous, stressed even. so far nothing has really messed up (apart from that small ticket pricing glitch) and it worries me. the fear of missing flights, getting rejected, missing my mid sem exam weights heavy. theres much more at stake than i had initially planned for and with that, the amt of risk i'm taking, increases.

past week has been really hectic too, despite only having 2 modules this sem, i'm constantly tied up with school work. there's one assignment i'm having a lot of fun with, but requires a lot of attention. its a hotel simulation module, we get to use this 'monopoly' like program. our class is split into grps to manage a hotel, where our decisions made each 'cycle' will be weighed against the rest of the class (your competitors) and whether your establishment succeeds or fails, pretty much depends on making correct decisions. i'm quite confident to say that i've managed to guide my group to be the most successful hotel at the moment, but its taking a lot out of me. i've probably never spent so much time on an assignment ever and its probably because this one feels more like a game than an actual assignment.

in any case, i havent been sleeping much lately, the anxiety problems isnt exactly helping either.
fingers crossed, hopefully everything would go well as planned.

*sigh*
-out-

2008-04-11T03:07:00.003+08:00

Letters to my future self

11th apr - flight bound

trip's confirmed, will be back home from 19th-21st, bunking over at mel's. itinerary looks some what like this:

gold coast -> KL
KL -> SGP
SGP -> Darwin
Darwin -> Brisbane

will touchdown at 5am in Brisbane, i'd need to take a train and then switch a bus to get back to my place and i need to do all that within 5 hrs, to catch a class at 10am on the same day. talk abt excitement.

list of things left to do:
-packing
-letter
-gift wrapping

now lets hope nothing unfortunate happens. a stalled flight would mess up my plans entirely, since none of the flights are transfers, and being the lowest grade budget tickets, i wont be able to change my tickets either.

on the anime google box, minami-ke okawari, true tears, bamboo blade, clannad, spice and wolf, gundam 00 have ended their run this season, leaving only major, saiunkoku mongatari II, Tsubasa tokyo revelations, mnemosyne and all the mainstream naruto-bleach crap on the to-watch list.

somewhat not too excited abt the new stuff this coming season, so far the only ones that caught my eye are code geass R2, bus gamer, tower of druaga. oh well, if i dont pick up anymore titles for this season, at least i know i'll have more time to do other stuff ><"

**update: OMG, i jus realised that on the 22nd (the day i land back in brisbane), i have a mid sem exam at 4pm. OMGOMGOMG!

**update 2: The 'date' is fixed! Now i'd need to find a lovely place for dinner, anyone got suggestions?

-out-

2008-03-24T23:14:00.003+08:00

Letters to my future self

25th march - impulse

theres this sudden impulse to fly back for a few days next month.
if it actually happens, then its perhaps the most adventurous/wildest thing i've done, ever.

and for that reason, i cant go home 'home' either for that few days.
anyone knows where i can get cheap accommodation (or if anyone can let me bunk in for a few days) back home for say... 4 days, from maybe 18-21st next month?

-out-

2008-03-17T16:24:00.003+08:00

Letters to my future self

17th march - by the way...

i'm looking for the following plush toys:

from the Azumanga Daioh (manga/anime) line of mechandise, the makers of these plushies apparently stopped producing them... *bleh*

so if any of u knows where i can get any of them, pls let me know, k?
thanks

-out-

2008-03-17T13:54:00.003+08:00

Letters to my future self

17th march - Despair Inc.

lol, no, its not me being emo again.

jus recently stumbled upon this website again. it was 1st introduced to me during one of our lectures on staff motivation and it pokes fun at alot of things, my favourites are the 'motivation' posters, which can be found here.

personal favourites being:

Consistency - its only a virtue if you're not a screwup

Customer care - if we really care for the customer, we'd send them somewhere better

Tradition - Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid.

-out-

2008-03-05T23:18:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

7th march - 深思

不知从何时开始，养成了编写没有收件人简讯的习惯 ...

-out-

2008-02-27T18:22:00.003+08:00

Letters to my future self

27th feb - a bumpy start

sheesh, i finally got my internet connection restored today. thankfully its working as fast as it should (for now, at least). jus arrived here back in my own room on monday, aft spending the weekend over at my cousin's house in brisbane. life without the internet is a pain.

had a whole mountain of computer issues too, apart from the network woes. my dvd drive is officially dead, my graphic card and the PSU (power supply unit) are probably almost there as well. had to spend the whole afternoon trying to jump start my graphic card after it threatened to die out on me. not looking pretty at the moment, only hope that this rig can last me thru this semester then i can dump it and build a new one when i get back.

bought seasons 1-3 of house to tide over the past few days w/o teh internetz. it was a bundle that came with a stress ball, 110aus from kmart. relatively cheap, i think.

qoute of the day:
"i wished my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself..."

btw, would it surprise anyone, if i said that i might consider teaching as a career?

-out-

2008-02-25T20:51:00.002+08:00

Letters to my future self

25th feb - reintroduced to the concept of loneliness

it seemed strange that for a person whos been used to being alone/doing things alone, that i would suddenly feel lonely, and even miss home barely a few days from arriving in GC.

it was only then that i realised what was so different this time round, compared to the other times i've came back here -- i've made new friends.

while this might come naturally to most people, for a social inadequate like myself, meeting new people is already pretty daunting, let alone making new friends. my education train wreck is partially the reason why i havent made new friends in awhile...

i still keep in touch with several secondary school classmates, although its new been reduced to yearly catchups or random chats online, largely due to location differences. i no longer keep in touch with my poly classmates, aft dropping out from the course. then there was the time for informatics and ns, which are both a big LOL, and then overseas.

much as i try to convince myself that i know alot of ppl from all over the world playing wow, meeting people online isnt quite the same as meeting and interacting with real people.

this time the trip back to singapore, due to course requirements, i took a change in working environment, which was in many ways more rewarding then i had thought initially. never mind the horrible pay, i've meet new people, change my perspective on many things and found new meaning for my existence. no doubt, the actions which are taken during this recent trip home would have repercussions on the decisions i would make in the future and for that, i am thankful...

Stephanie - friends (Gundam 00 ED2)
-out-

2008-02-19T00:17:00.001+08:00

Letters to my future self

19th feb - lame

and so, i went all the way to vivocity to buy something, only to realise that the shop had branches in hougang central AND hougang south.

right. *golfclap*

-out-

2008-02-13T00:32:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

12th feb - 寂寞

past few days have been quite sad really. ever since i stopped work, i've jus been cooping myself up at home. there isnt even anyone else at home, parents at work, bro's back in camp. man, it already feels like i'm back in australia.

catching a movie alone, thats a new low, even for me
*sigh* ><"

-out-

2008-02-06T00:50:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

5th feb - quarter of a century

life seems to get abit more troubling as one ages. ppl around u seem to have a tendency to remind u of how old you are, and how little things u seemed to have accomplished in life.

and so... i'm finally 25 this yr.

i'm not exactly thrilled by this fact. mind's a mixed bag of thoughts at the moment.

how i wish i'm not so inept when it comes to social interactions with others.

new yr's over the next few days, time to answer some of the same annoying questions that get asked EVERY yr. *sigh*

"what if... one day you wake up to find that, everything you believe to date, is all false and that you've been wrong, all these time?"

-out-

2008-01-21T18:58:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

21st jan - perplexed

its like for every step i'm moving forward, i'm also moving 2 steps back.

-out-

2008-01-08T22:52:00.000+08:00

letters to my future self

8th jan - a new year

got my 1st pay check yesterday. the sum is somewhat miserable, but at least for once, i'm feeling that this money is 'well-earned' so as to speak. on the bright side, i'm getting used to work, tasks which previously would complain about are slowly becoming easier to do, mostly becos i'm getting the rhythm of things. now that i've settled down in the environment, observation kicks in and i'm slowly noticing/learning new things much faster then during the 'whining' phase. not only am i learning, i'm finding that i'm in the position where i can pass down information to newer co-workers. a turn for the better; welcomed change of pacing.

the troubling issue still hasnt seen much improvement. i'm walking into alot of invisible walls. for a person who likes to break problems down into smaller segments for analysis, i have to admit for once that there are way too many variables in this equation and it throws me off. a change of approach perhaps? if so, what to? *sigh sigh*

byousoku dvd finally here! well, actually i received it over a week ago, but didnt have time to look at it until recently. its jus the way i wanted it to be. props for having a interview (with the director) segment in the dvd under the bonus sections. (odd part being that the interview can only be viewed in trad chinese subs)

simple wishes for the coming year:
to find success in everything i choose to do (and making correct decisions)!

-out-

2008-01-04T00:52:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

3rd jan - tactical miscalculation

this week marks a week of many 1sts.

for the 1st time ever, i'm interested in something i'm never really into for the past 23 yrs
never been this vexed before either.
for the 1st time ever i'm taking initiative for something i've never done before and know absolutely nothing about.
its also extremely difficult to consult others for advice, since most of the ppl who know me well enough, burst out into laughter when i brought the scenerio up.

alas, today's plan was a failure thou. jus when i thought i had mustered enough courage to pull it off, a slight miscalculation based on a wrong assumption left the issue pretty much as it was previously.

better luck next time, some will say.
unfortunately for me, with the poly term started and me flying soon, time is not a luxury i have at the moment.

-out-

2007-12-31T11:27:00.001+08:00

Letters to my future self

29th dec - time stop

it was as if for 3 seconds, the earth stopped spinning, and everything around us come to a momentarily rest. all i could hear, is my own heartbeat.

2007-12-12T00:43:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

12th dec - a xmas treat

when recently i found out that they were screening 5cm/sec in singapore at the animenation fest and it was all sold out (it was the only show that had an additional screening and it sold out for both shows too!), i was abit disappointed. i really wanted to catch it on the big screen.

been heading to several cd shops lately to try and see if i can find the dvd locally, but efforts have been futile. was surfing randomly on the internet today when i decided to try ebay. with some luck, i managed to find a hongkong vendor which carries the title, with the english subs which i'm looking for. costs abt 35 sg? (20usd) shipping inclusive, which i feel is a rather reasonable price to pay.

the biggest surprise is really when i tried to pay for the item with paypal. as it turns out, i actually still had funds in my acct, money which i didnt know i had. so in addition to my purchase of the dvd, i now know that i have some money floating around in cyberspace, it isnt much, but money is money after all, especially since i thought i had emptied that acct long ago.

hopefully it arrives soon, to inject some hope into this miserable holiday season.

-out-

2007-12-08T00:00:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

8th dec - life of an underpaid FnB worker

ok, so..... i'm back. unfortunately, i'm not as quite enjoying the holidays this time round. one, i'm plagued by financial woes again (which is the indirect effect of the next point i'm going to make) and... that i have to find a job in a 'relevant industry' to clock in 250 hrs of 'industry experience' as a graduation requirement.

the defination of 'relevant' here is pretty vague, but we were told 'hospitality' or 'FnB'. so retail is out, and my work experience with mart doesnt count. fortunately (and unfortunately) i've managed to find myself a job in one of the japanese restaurant chains (name omitted, lessons learnt from the ns incident) here in singapore. which is really a terrible terrible idea for many reasons.

1) this is the worst period to work in this industry
2) its a chain located in a heavily frequented shopping centre IN TOWN

and other small details which add to the overall amount of work that needs to be done over similar jobs in industry.

... and it pays peanuts. and i'm not talking abt nkf golden peanuts here. more like... 'lol5.5/hrlol' peanuts.

no benefits apart from the promise that i get to work 5 days a week minimum, and that the pay doubles on a public holiday (public holiday eves dont count)

which basically means that i'll be spending my xmas eve, xmas, new yr eve and new yr working. *sigh*

i cant say the work is extremely unbearable, my biggest complains is no doubt the weekends, where i feel that pay is unjustified for the amount for work that needs to be done and despite having my shift end at 10, more often then not, i'm only leaving the joint at 11pm on the really bad days.

in contrast to many jobs that i have taken before, this is by far, the one that pays the least for the most amount of energy put into.

only 1 good thing has actually come out of taking on this job - i'm actually more conscious of the money i'm spending right now, since i tend to relate the amt i spend to the amt time i have to spend to recover that money.

take for example, my trips to work there an back daily is ~$4 (damn u, transport companies) which means that per day that i'm working, i'm working the 1st 43mins jus to cover back my transport costs.

and that my carls jr dinner tonight offset todays takings by nearly 3 hrs.

at this point however, i cant decide which is better, to earn more and spend without thought, or earn peanuts and spend more conservatively...

*sigh*
-out-

2007-11-14T11:43:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

14th nov - exams, over

Its finally over, not particularly pleased with myself thou. The whole of this semester seems to be a big "MEH". this is by far the worst sem since i got here, thou i'm not sure which is the contributing factor - whether the subjects got progressively harder, or that i got progressively lazier.

exams prep this time round is horrible, for the 2 weeks i spent supposedly 'mugging' as some of you would call it, i managed to lay off WoW for that whole 14 days... BUT... i probably watch more anime during this duration then actually studying *facepalm*

thats complete series of:
-monster
-bleach (up to the latest)
-Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu

in addition to weekly catchups of:
-bamboo blade
-minami-ke
-goshuushou-sama ninomiya kun
-clannad tv
-genshiken 2
-naruto
-gundam 00

SIGHhh...
Despite all these, i'm still actually convinced that i wont fail anything this sem.
i not sure if that makes me feel better either ><"

-out-

2007-11-02T13:50:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

2th nov - monster

several years back, i discovered the anime titled 'monster'. i remember only watching the front few episodes, but it left a very deep impression on me. the story had a very intriguing, complex plot. however, i did not continue the series for reasons i cannot remember. or perhaps back then, i wasnt into that kind of story.

just only a few days back, i stumbled upon it by chance again. the same dark, eerie storyline, yet this time i could not resist it. as i write right now, i'm halfway thru the series of 74 episodes. so far its been amazing, its like a tangled ball of twine slowly unraveling. yet, jus when u think u've got it figured out, u're hit with one of those WTF moments... again. i'm drawn in deeper and deeper into the plot.

with less then a week to go before my 1st paper, this is perhaps the worse time to get drawn into the story...
must... fight... the temptation ...

-out-

2007-10-08T15:32:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

8th oct - on the google box

-Californication (s1)
-Heroes (s2)
-House (s4)
-How i met your mother (s3)

-Gundam 00
-Naruto shippuden

-out-

2007-09-28T17:12:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

28th sep - makoto shinkai

i dont know how many of you actually checked out that anime that i spoke of a few months back. But recently, i heard the remaining parts have been aired in japanese cinema's and released dvds even, so i decided to hunt around. as luck would have it, i managed to catch the last 2 parts to the great story. went back and chked out his previous work "The place promised in our early days" was fairly gd as well, but nothing quite like byousoku 5cm (byousoku go sechimetoru 秒速５センチメートル)

if u havent watched it before
GO. WATCH. IT. NOW!

i wont post a link, but go to 56.com, search for byousoku. (3 parts, total run time is jus over an hr)
chinese subs, so i hope some of u havent return all ur knowledge to tan hong leng.
fairly accurate translation as well.

theme song is One more time, One more chance by Masayoshi Yamazaki

Lyrics :

Romaji

Koreijou nani wo ushinaeba kokoro wa yurusareru no
Dore hodo no itami naraba mou ichido kimi ni aeru
One more time kisetsu yo utsurowanaide
One more time fuzake atta jikan yo

Kuichigau toki wa itsumo boku ga saki ni oreta ne
Wagamama na seikaku ga naosara itoshiku saseta
One more chance kioku ni ashi wo torarete
One more chance tsugi no basho wo erabenai

Itsudemo sagashite iru yo dokka ni kimi no sugata wo
Mukai no HOOMU rojiura no mado
Konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai no ni
Negai ga moshimo kanau nara ima sugu kimi no moto e
Dekinai koto wa mou nanimo nai
Subete kakete dakishimete miseru yo

Sabishisa magirasu dake nara
Dare demo ii hazu na no ni
Hoshi ga ochisou na yoru dakara
Jibun wo itsuwarenai
One more time kisetsu yo utsurowanaide
One more time fuzake atta jikan yo

Itsudemo sagashite iru yo dokka ni kimi no sugata wo
Kousaten demo yume no naka demo
Konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai no ni
Kiseki ga moshimo okoru nara ima sugu kimi ni misetai
Atarashii asa korekara no boku
Ienakatta suki to iu kotoba mo

Natsu no omoide ga mawaru fui ni kieta kodou

Itsudemo sagashite iru yo dokka ni kimi no sugata wo
Akegata no machi sakuragichou de
Konna toko ni kuru hazu mo nai no ni
Negai ga moshimo kanau nara ima sugu kimi no moto e
Dekinai koto wa mou nanimo nai
Subete kakete dakishimete miseru yo

Itsudemo sagashite iru yo dokka ni kimi no kakera wo
Tabisaki no mise shinbun no sumi
Konna toko ni aru hazu mo nai no ni
Kiseki ga moshimo okoru nara ima sugu kimi ni misetai
Atarashii asa kore kara no boku
Ienakatta suki to iu kotoba mo

Itsu demo sagashite shimau dokka ni kimi no egao wo
Kyuukou machi no fumikiri atari
Konna toko ni iru hazu mo nai no ni
Inochi ga kurikaesu naraba nandomo kimi no moto e
Hoshii mono nado mou nanimo nai
Kimi no hoka ni taisetsu na mono nado

English

How much more do I have to lose, before my heart is forgiven?
How many more pains do I have to suffer, to meet you once again?
One more time, oh seasons, fade not
One more time, when we were messing around

Whenever we disagreed, I would always give in first
Your selfish nature made me love you even more
One more chance, the memories restrain my steps
One more chance, I cannot choose my next destination

I’m always searching, for your figure to appear somewhere
On the opposite platform, in the windows along the lane
Even though I know you couldn’t be at such a place
If my wish were to come true, I would be at your side right away
There would be nothing I couldn’t do
I would put everything on the line and hold you tight

If I just wanted to avoid loneliness, anybody would have been enough.
Because the night looks like the stars will fall, I cannot lie to myself.
One more time, oh seasons, fade not.
One more time, when we were messing around

I’m always searching, for your figure to appear somewhere
At a street crossing, in the midst of dreams
Even though I know you couldn’t be at such a place
If a miracle were to happen here, I would show you right away
The new morning, who I’ll be from now on
And the words I never said: “I love you.”

The memories of summer are revolving
The throbbing which suddenly disappeared

I’m always searching, for your figure to appear somewhere
At dawn on the streets, at Sakuragi-cho
Even though I know you couldn’t be at such a place
If my wish were to come true, I would be at your side right away
There would be nothing I couldn’t do
I would put everything on the line and hold you tight

I’m always searching, for fragments of you to appear somewhere
At a traveller’s store, in the corner of newspaper,
Even though I know you couldn’t be at such a place
If a miracle were to happen here, I would show you right away
The new morning, who I’ll be from now on
And the words I never said: “I love you.”

I always end up looking for your smile, to appear somewhere
At the railroad crossing, waiting for the express to pass
Even though I know you couldn’t be at such a place
If our lives could be repeated, I would be at your side every time
I would want nothing else
Besides you, nothing else matters

wonderful song that goes perfectly with the story
i am so going to buy this dvd when the english sub versions come out...

-out-

2007-09-25T22:35:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

26th sep - mixed bag of thoughts

uncertainty. lost. bleak.

the boy who flew too close to the sun; he who knew too much

is ignorance, bliss?

-out-

2007-09-12T09:40:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

12th sep - Zzz... zz... z

amongst some of the more 'champion' things i've done recently is - falling asleep in the middle of an exam. been sleeping too late, waking up too early of late. was pondering over the answer of a particular MCQ question when i zoned out. by the time i regained control of my senses, a good 15 mins had already past. thankfully, i was still able to complete the paper in time.

-out-

2007-08-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

15th aug - the awkward moments in life...

jus abit of background to today's story. for those of u who havent seen me in awhile, i actually have long hair now. i wont be posting pictures, but jus know that its long enough to tie a small 'ponytail' which i do sometimes when i go out.

and so... i was out grocery shopping today. had to answer a call of nature while i was at the shopping centre. when i was done, washed my hand and decided to retie my hair cos it looked somewhat messed up from the mirror. and while i was doing that... a middle aged man walk thru the door of the washroom and saw my side profile (and me still trying to tie my hair).

he paused.
took a step back.
looked at the door again.
then continued to walk in, mumbling to himself.

facepalm + rofl

-out-

2007-06-15T13:11:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

15th jun - LOL

-out-

2007-06-11T21:38:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

11th jun - of winter and exams

so winter is finally here, nope, not becos the calender says so, its jus becos its freaking cold all day long. in a locked room. with closed windows. and the heater turned on.

thankful that my heater is still working despite a couple of hard knocks it took when i was moving stuff around last yr, packing for home.

1st day of exams is unfortunately tmr. state of preparedness is quite laughable, and i rather not talk about it. gd thing is that i've been doing well for 3 out of 4 of my subjects this semester and i probably can close my eyes for those papers and still get at least a credit on them.

the other paper is abit troubling, to make things worse, its my 1st paper - financial control. financial reports are awful and boring. maybe its jus me, but this is one subject that i can make neither head nor tail of. doesnt help that i was without the textbook for most of the semester (bookshop went out of stock, not once, but twice. i'm using a photocopied text now) and that i've woken up late and skipped the 10 am lecture more times then i can remember.

i also wished textbooks would get straight to the point. they really shd design textbooks for utter idiots and people with common sense (granted the former will probably not have any sales, seeing how ppl wont admit they are utter idiots. **financial account for utter idiots!). dude, if i'm reading a math textbook, all i need to know is 'how its done' and 'why or how its derived' and maybe 'how is this can be applied'. as it is, i have to read the textbook, pause to digest what the freaking author's trying to say and still eventually arrive at the same conclusion that i had b4 reading the book. keeeeer helpful leh.

other matters, tv madness continues. heroes was completed in barely 1 week and only took that long cos my internetz is teh fux'ed upz. go thing was that i finished eps 23 jus in time for 24 to be uploaded and i didnt have to wait to catch the finale. nice show, slyar rules, and peter is horrendously overpowered. copy powers (jus by exposure) and recall them on demand? where to find sia, even sylar also have to consume to gain powers.

and then a couple of days back.... i stumbled upon GTO, the live action jap drama from 1998 and finished it jus earlier this morning. apparently, GTO > financial accounting. i'm pretty sure i watched the series b4, when they aired it on channel 8, but it was still fun to watch again.

in contrast to this TV>studying nonsense, i actually applied for a 2 week haitus from wow from the guild - to study for my exams. wow seems to have lost abit of its original appeal, as i seem to be constantly disappointed by the actions of others around me. ppl these days seem to have issues when u tell them in the face that 'they are wrong' and that 'they suck'. sheesh, grow up already. but i guess thats a story for another time.

time to hit the books again
-out-

2007-05-15T14:29:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

15th may - tv!

oh boy, i never thought i would happen, but i'm watching tv again. not quite 'tv' tv, but rather...
http://tv-links.co.uk/index.do/1

kun sent me this link awhile back, and i didnt quite pay attention to it, since i dont watch alot of tv in the 1st place, there wasnt anything quite i had wanted to watch.

ever since i got here, the only times i'm not on a computer is when
1) i'm not in class
2) dinner

and dinner is when i sit in front of the tv and start flipping channels.
and thats when i discovered 'house' last yr. (and i only found out recently that i actually caught the pilot episode on aus tv)

and recently i saw 'how i met your mother' while flipping channels. that show is hilarious. went back to tv links and viola! caught all the episodes that i missed, and even those they havent shown on tv in 3 days.

then i went thru the list of programs that they have listed, realising that theres actually quite some stuff there that i would like to catch eventually. (if not for this freaking lousy connection, that is)

thou, i have to say, pretty bad timing to get hooked on to tv now. since the sem is wrapping up, exams coming up and stuff ><"

oh well.
-out-

2007-05-09T00:12:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

9th may - qoute of the day

"for some reason, the villians in spider-man like to rob banks after getting super powers, they cannot think of bigger plots one"

-nairda

-out-

2007-03-14T18:18:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

14th march - a new term

got back from sydney, right into the 2nd week of school. sydney wasnt as fruitful as i had hoped. went 4-5 on day 1, bumping into an ocean of bad matchups and missing the day 2 cut by 1 win. deck wasnt as consistant as i was told : / the winning deck of the event was based on the same concepts, but was more consistant in alot more ways.

luck didnt shine on me either during the side events, played a wow constructed event for a chance for an ipod, missed the top 8 cut off, at 9th place *bah*

oh well.

skool's all gd for now, still a couple of glitches with enrolment, but it shd work itself out, somehow... i hope.

been busy with wow, guild's started with karazhan, progress for now is great, 3 weeks into raiding jus only 2-3 days a week and we're up til the 5th boss (attumen, moroes, maiden, big bad wolf down), not too bad.

btw, if anyone's noticed, the template for this's been change for quite sometime now. yea, i got really bored with the old one, and it's horrendously outdated by today's standards anyway. the problem with this one is that all my previous links are all missing. if any of u could do me a favor, leave ur link in the comments, so that i can have u linked up again.

1 last thing b4 i forget. anime fans, pls chk this new title out. its a 3 parter by makoto skinkai, so far only the 1st one's out. the name of the 'short film' is called "byousoku 5cm", part one is titled "oukashou". its a romance story, great art, even better story telling. dont miss it.

-out-

2007-02-28T00:22:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

28th feb - back in ozzieland

back in my own room now, computer is functioning fine (thank god). connection is glitchy, but no major issues... yet.

new contact for rent, new term beginning. problems with enrolments which i have yet to see to. hell, i havent even borthered to properly unpacked yet.

booked ticket to sydney from thursday-> sunday night. will be away for Pc: sydney. borrowing a deck to play for the event, mostly for fun, if i'm lucky i might win something or sell some cards.

nothing much here's really changed, went down to southport today for some banking and my 1st grocery trip, everything looks unchanged. weather here is still as atrocious as when i 1st got here 1 yr ago. that time of the yr i guess. its nearly 3 am, 32 deg C in my room right now, windows opened, fan turned on. i am sweating. *BBRRR*

-out-

2007-02-13T23:58:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

13th Feb - and so....

yes, i'm 1 yr older now. nothing to be really joyful abt. 24 years already and i havent quite seem to have achieved very much.

3 more days til i stop working, then chinese new year. then zobo for abt 1 week or so.... tying up loose ends, packing up and stuff.

anyways i'll be flying on sunday night (25th), shd be back gold coast by monday morning, hanging around for a few days then flying over to sydney for a short weekend getaway, then right back b4 the term starts.

oh well...
-out-

2007-01-24T01:35:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

24th Jan - brief respite

The burning crusade has finally been released last week. i officially have no life. or rather, i now lead a double life. sales assistant by day, deadly assassin by night. right now taking advantage of the server downtime to write this.

its been abit taxing, to have to work and at the same time trying to lvl. still, its a gd way for me to channel away fustrations which i sometimes get at work.

only 1 week into the expansion and already at lvl 65, nearly 66. so near, yet so far. in terms of lvling speed, i'm somewhat faster then the general public, but still progressing slower then i had hoped to, since imo, the game only begins at the max lvl.

anyways, flight back has been confirmed, will be heading back to aus on the 25th of feb.

oops, server's up now.
-out-

2007-01-04T23:31:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

4th jan - vexing

erh... merry christmas and happy new yr to all, its abit late, i know but still....

work has been somewhat a bunch of up and down emotions as of late. while the job itself can be satisfying at times, it can also be fustrating jus as well.

and sometimes, jus when u think the day cant get any worse...
*sigh*

-out-

2006-12-06T00:34:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

6th dec - i is back

been back for abt 2 weeks now, so far, the following have happened:

- caught flu/cold (recovering now)
- got my debit card locked up, after repeatedly keying in my atm card's pin number only to realise that the pin numbers on both cards are not the same
- realised that $30 in an ezlink card is only worth 1 week of train/LRT travelling
- began work back at comicsmart, since monday, working full time until... i fly, i guess.

been a real hectic so far, between work and meeting up with friends, i've hardly anytime to wow at all. the irony of this is that when i was in aus, i had time to wow, but my connection is horrid, now, i have a great computer system, gd connection, but... no time. bleh.

oh wells, life's like that.
heh
-out-

2006-11-23T14:50:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

23rd nov - quick updates

havent been online over the past few days cos i'm currently in brisbane, at my cousin's place, without my computer. posting right now from a internet cafe in brisbane city. (the keyboard here sucks btw... the spacebar is somewhat faulty and it annoys the hell out of me).

did alot of walking around the past couple of days, resulting in a pair of very tired legs. walked from my cousin's place, along the brisbane river to the city, a trip which is abt 6km. and the same route back. alot of things to see thou, compared to my place.

flight is scheduled for midnight tomorrow, so i'll be back home early sat morning.
cant wait to get home!

-out-

2006-11-10T08:01:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

nov 10th - u know christmas is jus around the corner when....

-out-

2006-11-08T08:29:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

8th nov - "killer!"

woke up this morning... turned on computer, brush teeth, chk email.

in my inbox, there was a mail titled "gurubashi screenshot contest" sent to me by a blizzard staff. its a screenshot contest i took part in awhile back and nearly forgot abt it. anyways, i was anticipating it to be one of those "kkthxbai" emails... until i clicked on it.

*insert 30 secs of silence* + *jaw dropping*

"Congratulations! You were chosen as a Killer Silver finalist in the Gurubashi Screenshot Contest. You have won 29 "KILLER SILVER" silver coins, a "KILLER" T-shirt and a "KILLER" network card.

Please email us back your full name and a mailing address and we will be sure to send your prize within 30 days. Should we not hear from you within 30 days you will forfeit your prize.

Best wishes,

Nethaera
Blizzard Entertainment"

like ZOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

thats like the top 5 entrants!
lol!
/dance

"KILLER SILVER prize - Two qualified entrant shall be chosen to receive the "KILLER SILVER" prize package consisting of the following: twenty nine (29) "KILLER SILVER" Silver Coins with an aggregate approximate retail value of $400.00; one (1) "KILLER" T-Shirt with an approximate retail value of $15.99, and one (1) "KILLER" Network card, with an approximate retail value of $279.00"

and for those curious, this is the theme for the contest:
""We're looking for some belligerent adventurers to let their artistic fury fly by taking screenshots of themselves doing what they do best, vanquishing their foes!"

Participants should submit shots displaying the widespread carnage they've wrought, the havoc they've mercilessly unleashed on the masses, the piles of enemies who've fallen before them -- anything that shows the world that they are without a doubt Azeroth's most destructive force."

and this is what i submitted:

click image to enlarge

yes. rats.
=p
-out-

2006-11-07T22:18:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

8th nov - 2 down, 2 more to go

my 2 most difficult papers are over! actually come to think of it, my accounting paper was less terrifying then i had imagined, out of the 2 sections (mcq and practical sums), i actually had to ponder over the questions in the mcq section while for the practical section i jus breezed through the whole thing.

last 2 papers are supposed to be the easiest ones... next up is employment relationships, which is a 50 mcq paper *rolls eyes* tutors said its a straight forward paper, so i dont think theres much to worry abt... i mean, 50 mcq? how hard can it get? *frown*

last paper is FnB, which i'm almost certain to get a distinction... if i do fairly well for the exam. the pre-exam marks put me into a high credit-distinction range, which is gd. i was also told i scored the highest marks in my class for the practical sessions in the restaurant. *go me!*

was watching a documentary jus now on tv, abt 'tank man', the guy who got caught on camera, during the 1989 tiananmen incident where he tried to block the progression of a column of tanks by standing in its way. came back online and read up abit more abt the tiananmen square itself. it would seem that apart from being a symbol of great cultural significance, it was also a site a numerous politcial events, like the may fourth movement and the above mentioned 1989 protests.

the 1989 protests in particular seems to have a very big impact on the history of china. the government, seemed to be censoring away information on that event, which goes as far as getting google to block the related material on its china portal. wikipedia was also said to have been blocked to china users partly due to the uncensored material on the protests.

interesting? personally, i would like to be able to see the square myself in person... one day.

17 days more until i'm back in sgp!
-out-

the postal service - "Such great heights"

2006-11-03T20:25:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

3rd oct - ZOMG!! A MOUSE!!

scene of crime: kitchen - common area
evidence: droppings, size waaaay to big for common house lizards, spotted on various locations in the room, on tables, stove.

... and so last night, halfway thru revision, i decided to come out of my room to grab a snack from the fridge. stepping out of my room, i caught a fast moving shadow across the room and very quickly out of sight. wondering if i've caught my culprit, i tried to look for it, scanned the floor under the couches. nothing. kicked the couches, hoping that it would come out. nothing.

"maybe i could have saw it wrongly?"
/grab snack
/return to room.

fast forward to today...
its after dinner and i'm doing my dishes. jus as i'm returning a plate to the rack, the same shadow appears. except, this time, its no more then 2 metres from me and i'm positive i'm staring at a running mouse. it isnt too big, kinda like the regular hamster size, but still spine tingling, nevertheless. anyways, it disappeared from sight again.

/return to room
/msn roommate
me: we have a mouse in the living room
him: ...
him: where
me: i saw it run, but i cant find it
him: is it out?
him: i scare lol
him: big or small
me: its definately still in the room somewhere
me: small
him: ok
him: leave it ? ><
me: well, i cant even find it...

at this point, i opened my door and walked out to the living room, behind me, his door opens... and he peeks out.
and so... the 2 of us decides to do something about it.
after some random guesswork at the mouse's possible location, we decided to move the couches and see if we find holes anywhere and thats what we did.

/pull couch away from wall.
almost immediately, the small shadow appears again.
...follow by a scream coming from behind me -_-" **ker coward leh**
the small shape disappeared under another row of couches.
as i approached the couches to pull them away from the wall again...

"QUICK QUICK, OPEN THE DOOR 1ST!!"
/open door
/pull couch

there was no reaction for abt 2 seconds. i was about to peer over the couch when....
the mouse appeared on the arm rest of the couch, which totally takes me by surprise and. i jumped backwards, followed by a scream from behind... again.

its then, the mouse decided that it didnt wan to be sharing the same roof as 2 grown men, jumping, hopping around in their living room screaming, and ran out of the unit.

the door was quickly closed... in case it changed its mind.
quite... exciting... i mus say, heh.

-out-

2006-10-25T18:02:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

25th oct - past and present

**in school. waiting. project team member. 8pm. hungry. RAWR.**

was 1am the other night when i finished my last entry. out of curiousity, jus clicked back to read some of the stuff i wrote back in 2004, i think? basically the posts right after i was forced to armageddon my blog and start from scratches. it was quite funny to see that i've often made spelling mistakes, cos 1) i've nv borthered to reread most of my posts aft i hit the 'publish' button 2) i used to have constructed my post on notepad 1st b4 transfering over to blogger and publish and notepad didnt have spell check (dont ask why notepad, i dont have an answer for that)

for some reason, i couldnt stop reading. its like reliving my past again. the happy moments, the sad moments. ord. birthday celebrations. emotional moments. how-i-still-think-noel-is-a-piece-of -shit. everything. before i knew it, it was already past 3am, and i would have continued reading, except i was too tired and i have an early class on the next day. its been what? almost 3 yrs since i started this blog thing? strangely enough, the ns period was the period where i had the most drive and most stuff to write about. life for now jus falls into a very big repetitive cycle with nearly nothing worth writing about. no one really cares if i bought a tray of 6 eggs and go home to find that 3 of them are cracked and i have to dump them away (go me!)

lost the drive? or is it that i no longer find things around me interesting?
food for thought...

**8.30pm. still in school. still hungry. still waiting. RAWRRRR.**
-out-

**jus went back to chk my deleted archives and realised that i started writing on the 5th of Aug in 2003, thats.. over 3 yrs already. wow. happy belated birthday, blog!!** =p

2006-10-23T23:03:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

24th oct - update

flight back home's been confirmed, i'll be flying on the 24th next month, arriving home on the morning, 25th nov, transiting from KL.

i have unfortunately screwed myself up on rent. apparently i signed a 1 yr contract, which means i have to continue paying for the room despite not being around. really irks me, as i didnt know it would turn out this way, feel somewhat cheated. will see if there anything that can be done to lessen the cost during that 3 month duration when i'm away.

final assignments are due this week (2 of them) and this is the last week of classes. 1st paper begins on the 4th of next month, and ends on the 16th. the plan now is to end my exams and bunk up at my cousin's place up in brisbane until i fly. but due to the recent troubles with the rent contract, i'll still trying to get that worked out *sigh*

lost my pencil last week. the 2nd piece of stationary thats gone missing since i got here. 1st was a pen, now a pencil. what seemed strange was my reaction to their disappearances. i get annoyed when i lost the pen cos then i had to get a replacement. for the pencil, i got annoyed over actually losing it. it would seem that losing the pencil is somewhat more personal to me then losing the pen. pens are... jus writting tools.. the pencil on the other hand is more... personal. also i've had that pencil for over 5 yrs, so yea... grr. whoever took it, i hope u trip over an ant on ur way home or something.

gaming wise, nothing much, i finally got into a new guild and having to work my way up the ranks from the bottom again. still disappointed by some of the things in the guild, but this will have to do for now until the expansion. plan is to lie low, get some loot and pray for the best when the expansion comes out.

i cant wait to get back home. i miss the food back at home. 8 months of fast food, biscuits, and frozen food does strange things to a person.
-out-

**oh btw, for those who havent, chk this one out http://www.mrbrownshow.com/?p=360. pure genius and a great laugh.

2006-09-28T23:16:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

28th sep - a day of sightseeing
matt asked on msn last night if i would like to following him to the flower market to take a look (he's chking out flower prices) and then go walk around sunny bank (grocery shopping + lunch). utterly bored of staying at home (esp since this is the mid term break), i readily agreed.

he drove over and picked me up at 9.30am, we drove up to brisbane where the flower markets are located. apparently matt does some kind of flower arrangement thingy for events and he's chking out the prices here in anticipation of a possible event which his services might be required.

we walked around abit, he asked a few questions with the wholesellers there, took some notes and we left for sunny bank, which is like a small asian 'town' like area. there we had lunch, he then went to buy some groceries and mooncake. on the drive back he asked if i had any plans for the rest of the day, noting my reply that i have none, he asked if i would like to go sightseeing. i was game.

he drove home, dropped off his stuff, drove me to my place, picked up my cam and we were headed for hinze dam - located along the nerang river, the dam provides water for the gold coast area

this was the 1st time i'm seeing a dam in person and the view was great. there werent alot of people around at all and the place was peaceful and extremely beautiful.

we walked around abit, on the hill top of the area, was a cafe named "dam tasty cafe" (LOL)

we next drove further inland into the springbrook national park. it was a pretty long drive despite its seemingly short distance, on the way we bypassed some farm houses (cows, horses and sheep!) along the countryside, the view was amazing. the area looked like some kind of a valley. the evening sun, 2 hills, 1 casting its shadow, partially covering the other, magnificant view, only pity was that i couldnt disembark to take pictures.

this was the only picture i managed to take while he had to make a short pit stop to chk the map, the sun effect isnt there, but thats how the area kinda looked like

we finally got to the section of the national park which matt wanted to show me. it housed the 'nature bridge' The Natural Bridge is a naturally formed rock arch over Cave Creek (the headwaters of the Nerang River). It was formed from a waterfall which undercut a cave beneath the waterfall and dug a pothole on top, until the two joined and the creek flowed through the cave, leaving an arch across the front.

walking along the forest trail, i realised that a forest is almost nv silent, insects, birds, falling branches, rushing water all form a backdrop which makes the forest both creepy and exciting. after a 15 min walk or so, we finally got to 'nature bridge'

the bottom of the waterfall, the cave to the left is actually home to a colony of glow worms, however, we didnt get to see any glowing, it kinda wasnt dark enough yet for the glowing to be visible.

the top of the waterfall

after springbrook national park, it was kinda getting dark, so matt took me to another place near the sea, it was a place called 'the spit' we had no idea why it was called that, but the place is actually a break water along the beach, directing facing the open sea. the winds were extremely strong along the area. we were guessing that the place is given that name due to the strong waves that hit upon the break water and appears to 'spit' at the ppl there.

next... dinner time!

extremely huge portions. we had an entree of prawns, the seafood platter is matt's. mine's the eye fillet steak (laced with bacon) in diane sauce. the amt of food on the table was scary considering there were only 2 of us. i barely managed to finish mine, while matt had to dabao most of his platter home. man, i probably consumed enough fat in that meal to last for a month... bacon... evil....

very very tiring day, time to turn in...

2006-09-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

6th sep - man and nature

"Pluto is no longer a planet."
interesting how man seek to have control over nature sometimes, like how we harness the usage of wind and water for our daily needs, amongst many things. it even comes down to confirming the 'status' of astronomical objects. amusing sometimes even. especially to learn that all these while, the solar system that we taught to us and has been taught for centuries is somewhat inaccurate.

sometimes however, nature resists human control and even retaliates.

"steve irwin, the crocodile hunter, dies while filming"
such pity, a man who puts everything he has on the line for the very thing he loves, seeks to share with the world his love, departs jus like that...

being in australia, the impact of his death seems doubly hard, he's all over the news. even my hostel's management has attempted to setup gathering this weekend within our own compounds to observe a min of silence for the man.

which brings to mind this question:
"would u have regrets in life, if u died doing the very thing u loved?"

-out-

2006-08-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

21st aug - the new semester

god, i didnt realise its been over 1 month since i made my last post. but honestly, life here is stagnanting and there isnt really much to write about.

if anything, in the past month, i've finally realised and acknowledged that i'm addicted to the internet. there was a couple of days some 2 weeks ago whereby the roadworks outside on the mainroad interfered with the connection, resulting into a downtime of 2 days for my internet connection. during those 2 days, i suddenly had too much time in hand, i didnt realise how much of my time is actually spent online (well, actually i did, but i didnt realise it was that much). even still, its probably something that i wont be looking forward to changing, without the internet or wow, i probably would have died of boredom here or or wasted that time (in money) in a club or casino.

and... so... new term has started. i actually like this sem better then the last. last sem had too many theory based subjects, ultimate boredom. even worse when it comes to writting assignments. this sem is slightly different, i have food and beverage service as a module, which teaches how restaurants are run and managed. its a practical class and in a couple of weeks time, i'll be required to begin work as waiting staff/managers of the training restaurant in the university.

also this semester i have accounting. while its not something to be extremely excited about, i can safely say, nothing beats pure theory modules in terms of boredom lvls. i'm getting abit sick of having to answer questions that dont have a yes nor a no answer. which basically meant for every point u make u have to support with evidence. accounting is so much easier, yes or no, right or wrong.

i also have a couple of lectures this sem that are conducted by very happening lecturers. the kind of lectures that i dont have to keep chewing on gum to keep myself awake. my emplyment relations lecture is more like a big scale debate, very interesting to see so many varying PoVs from ppl from different countries or even from the same country.

i'm beginning to miss singapore, not really singapore singapore, but i miss some places (i actually miss orchard road, omg!), i miss my family, friends, that kinda stuff =(

3 more months to go!
-out-

2006-07-16T08:53:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

16th jul - drama

its amazing how a simple online game can possibly affect a person's real life emotions. once or twice i've yelled out for joy when i won a really rare drop. i've even had a guildmate done jus that, he's wife stared at him and say "u didnt even look so excited when we got married", he had to take the evening off from the raids to arrange a dinner to make up to her. *heh*

i left my guild for a 2nd time yesterday. it was an extremely painful and upsetting experiance, but i was pushed beyond breaking point and i wasnt going to tolerate somethings anymore. i work hard towards improving myself and my character, doing the things i need to do and at the right time. instead of respect, i got ridiculed by the fellow members of my class. it might have been a joke, but if it keeps repeating itself, it kinda wears a person down.

i left in the middle of the run, made a post in our forums to apologise and for my last farewells, took a shower and went to bed. when i got up today, i went to chk on the forum, the replies on my post, brought a tear to my eye. it was both exhilarating and upsetting. exalted to know that i had the respect the ppl in my guild and upsetting cos i do not forsee myself rejoining them again.

*sigh*

on other news, the mrbrown saga seems to be wrapping up. i'm still pretty much upset abt the removal of the column, its one of those things i actually look forward to, every week. and also annoyed at THE management for constantly being an arse, so much for freedom of speech, oh wait, sorry, we're talking abt singapore. freedom of speech doesnt exist. if anything, the website's still around, i still go there regularly. its one of those few things that make me feel connected to singapore even though i'm away. besides, whats better then starting a day with a smile on ur face?

-out-

2006-07-04T20:47:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

4th Jul - exam results

yay, exam results released today. good news is, i didnt fail anything. bad news is, i didnt exactly do well either. 3 credits and a pass. probably means i shd start setting goals and maybe actually study next sem... hmmm =p

holidays havent been very much... i'm practically surviving on junk food and wow. might see some changes to life when matthew comes back from adelaide and drives me around. i probably would have gotten bored to tears if not for wow. living in the suburbs is a major drawback. bahh.

guess i should try and sleep early and attempt to get up for the match later on
-out-

2006-06-20T19:56:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

20th jun - holidays!

wee, exams are over. apart from the 1st paper which was an utter disaster, the rest were pretty smooth sailing... i think *heh*

for now its just wow and world cup!

[2. Trade] [Akodohaku]: WTB [48hrs a day] PST
-out-

2006-06-11T19:39:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

11th jun - the worst and the best day.

my 1st paper's over. it was a disaster. i was required to write 2 essays, i think i managed to come up with something closer to like..... 2 paragraphs.

the only chance i can pass this paper is if.... i score really well in the MCQ section. yes, for some odd reason, 30 mcq questions weigh as much as 2 essay questions. hence if i do really well for the mcq, maybe a few 'pity' marks from the essays will allow me to pass the exam (and the module overall)

i got home from the worst day ever and when i got home, i jus turned on my comp and wow'ed. it was like "it cant get any worse now, i need a break".

what do u know? it turned out to be the best raiding weekend ever. 2 items which have never ever dropped before in abt 3 months of raiding finally dropped yesterday. i was the recipiant of both of them. (which was lucky, cos at the final boss, what happened was at the very start of the fight, i disconnected. i managed to get myself reconnected right at the moment the boss died, which allowed be to be eligible for the loot drops. i got assigned the loot item, barely 5 mins later, i disconnected again and was never able to reconnect until much later that day)

which essentially means that my character has 3 guild's 'first' items. for anyone who cared to know what they are: Viskag the Bloodletter (3 weeks ago), Bloodfang Helm and Bloodfang Pants (both yesterday)

okok, better get back to my books now =p
-out-

2006-06-07T21:07:00.000+08:00

Letters to my future self

7th jun - the stressed one

10th is my 1st paper. but i cant say i'm fully prepared for it yet. still too many things i'm uncertain about. despite knowing very well the format of the exam, i still feel that theres too much reading i have not done.

reading the text is jus plain lame, each chapter is 30-40 pages and isnt written in the most digestable formats, i often have to go back and read again a paragraph to catch the meaning. too much technical mumbo jumbo, too many redendant stuff. if the book was written in simple english, it probably would cut the book down abt half.

lecture notes focus on key points, but it often feels like details are lacking, especially if it comes to answering essay questions.

in short, my exams preparations are all over the place. getting distracted every once in awhile isnt helping either. *oh look! another cookie!*

considering that the last time i actually had to sit down and study was erh... 7 yrs ago? its like relearning how to do it, god.

anyone got any effective last min studying tips?
(pref ones that dont involve "paying attention to lectures and tutorials" since its too late for that to happen now ><")

back to the books
-out-